Rejoice Fellow Humans!!!!!

Woh~ I've been waiting for this day since eternity! I've longed for this day since before time begun and before Adam inhaled his first breath or dinosaurs grazed this land. I've been.... Ah, sod it. Everybody just grab some champagne and party till ya drop because today, MShern has FINALLY after such a long time of waiting and procrastinating, FINALLY had his first car accident.
I mean, even dinosaurs would have delayed extinction and waited to see this day if they had the power to. Gosh, I'm so excited that I'm totally ignoring Farhan at MSN now and actually grinning from ear to ear as I type this.
There goes that super big ass ego about being the drift king and the safest skilled driver and what not. There goes all that arrogance down the gutter like s**t being flushed down the toilet. Gone going gone, my dear friends.
Three cheers for the 19th of May. Hip-hip-hurray!
A lot of people must be thinking I'm damn evil and inconsiderate and pig-headed for being so happy about someone who has helped me numerous times without question and waited patiently in front of my house as I, once again, couldn't prepare for school in time but you have NO IDEA how much this day, this single incident, no no, that short moment when he banged into a U.R.O. (unidentified road-side object) will change my life.
Gone will be the days where he once again mercilessly criticizes my (*cough cough*) teenie-weenie bit below par driving skills, erm.... Not that he is the only one who has two cents to give about me being behind the wheels. In fact, I think almost anyone who have heard or seen me driving has a lot of opinion on this issue.... But no matter, one down, (infinity minus one) to go.
Gone will be the days where he, with a wave of an indifferent hand, disregards my fear of him driving in tight spaces and saying "*tzuk* You think I'm Niyi meh? With my driving skills ah, this is nothing lah." OK, he wants to brag about his skills then OK but why in My name does he have to bring me into the subject? I'm just looking out for him! See? And THAT is the reason why people are so cold-hearted and self-centered these days, you show a little bit of consideration and they go bitching about your skills.
Hah! Now you're the same as us, MShern! Now you too have become a part of the Teenage Car-wreckers Group (TCG)! In fact, may I remind you and everyone else who have ever been mean enough to "voice their concerns" about my driving skills to note the reality that MShern crashed until his front-bumper came off and he broke his front-lights whereas I, the great and forgiving God, have only ever made minor** scratches and dents to the cars.
By the way, this doesn't mean I wished for MShern to crashed his car or that I'm actually happy he did because (believe me) I know how much a hassle having to explain the moment of impact to your parents is. Take it from me, I have a lot of experience in this matter. While I'm on this subject, may I remind "Porn Queen" Irene that even though I have crashed cars considerably more than you in a shorter period of time, but quite frankly I think of this as a sort of investment because according to my prophecies, I might not (touch wood and hopefully some sarcastic god or angel or super-powered being isn't listening to this) crash again for the next couple of years and maybe you will, hence the statistics will be brought to the same number. So that means you have to crash another 5 times in 8 months and me surviving untouched for 3 and a half years. Um, right..... Maybe I'll just rely on public transport until then.... But come to think of it, 3 and a half years will probably pass by in the blink of an eye and it won't be so hard after all. However, according to these calculations, Irene must come from a totally different dimension where 8 months there equals to 8 years here or my chances of getting the stats to equilibrium will be totally impossible. OK, fingers crossed!
And oh, how ironic that before MShern crashed, Irene was just criticizing his driving skills and saying he is going to need more practice to actually become a smooth-reckless driver. By the way, Slur, if you dare as much as say the words "Niyi", "bad" and "driving" (or any other words carrying the same meanings) in a single sentence or paragraph, I'll cut you to pieces and publicize you buggie incident, big time.


**The magnitude of this word may vary from one person to the other, and might the author remind all readers that the author is very VERY forgiving and lenient when it comes to judging.