I've had enough of the females are fairer sex weaker beings lower life form bullshit already. What's so bad about being a female?!?
Sure we have our biological faults like having periods and all things evil associated with it and also the misfortune of having to (under some circumstances) carry another being in our body for 9 horrible months but let us consider the other facts too.
Let's start of with the good part of being female.
Guys have to open the door for us. Well, at least the guys that place a head which contains a brain (will get to this later) on top of their neck. Regardless of how feminist and what not I am, I believe that guys SHOULD open the door for girls. And my feminist feelings notwithstanding, guys should NEVER hit girls either. Run and shame yourself if you ever come across a psychotic woman but NEVER hit them unless you're trying to protect someone.
Then we are allowed to shop till we drop without being called a sissy cause it's just what we're supposed to do, right? And then we can eat our hearts out when we're feeling blue cause that's just our coping mechanism! It's not like we want to but it's in our genes! And let's not forget being able to lash out at others once a month and shrug it off by blaming it on PMS.
Now here are the less glorious but still true parts. For starters, when we're peeing using the sitting type of toilet bowls, we can tie our shoe laces at the same time! Or any other work that requires the use of our hands. Really, I'm serious! I know it doesn't really cure cancer or AIDS but think about it, you're in the loo and suddenly you notice your tie is messed up. If you're a woman you just go "Oh, there you go." and fix it. But if you're a guy you to finish peeing, wash your hands and then only fix it! And if you don't wash your hands after you pee then I hope nobody ever.... EVER! touches anything you did.
What else... Oh, and here comes our luck for NOT being the other sex!
First of all, some mysterious part of our gene does not dictate that crushing beer cans on our forehead and farting (and burping) extremely loudly and laughing at our antics while sniffing the fart is what civilized people would do. I mean seriously, being able to do so many retarded things at the very same time is a feat worthy of admiration but is that really what millions and billions of years of evolution have led to? Is this really the epitome of the intelligent being?!
And secondly, we females don't feel the need to constantly reach downwards and check that our genitals are still in place because god forbid that it might have ran away while we were busy sniffing other people's fart while struggling to open beer cans. While I was in Bali, I went to a temple filled with monkeys and one of them was just sitting there all high and mighty with that laid-back air to itself and just watching the people pass by and scratching his balls! At that very moment, I couldn't for the life of me deny the similarities between that monkey and its supposedly more intelligent big brother!
While I'm still on the subject of genitals, let me also rejoice in the fact that females do not feel the need to give names to their private parts like "My Little Brother" or stuffs along that line.
Oh, and speaking of peeing just now. We also should be happy that we don't have to constantly put up the seat just to pee. And I really don't get this next part. How can they be such sharp shooters in everything ranging from arcade games to sports and other stuffs but suck so terribly when it comes to trying to pee at the right place! And I'm not even gonna mention the type of men who just simply pee by the road as if he was some stray dog!
But I guess they just suck when it comes to taking care of their Lil' Bro which is inevitably proven by how prone they're to "miss aim" and stick their member into the wrong hole which we civilized people would much rather call having an affair instead of "sowing their wild oats" or "proving their manliness" or crappy shit like that. If they had tails I'm sure 50% of the male population would walk with it between their legs for fear of us females realizing how weak they really are and finally decide we've had enough of their shit.
So, are you still sad of being a female even after so much persuasion?
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