Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me

You know what I've observed lately? Nothing. Nothing at all.
Gosh my life is boring. I can't even think of something interesting to write. I've actually started writing a story that's ending up to be too long to be a story and too short to be a novel so its existence is currently under consideration. When I get something good I'll definitely post it up.
That said, it probably means this post is considerably dull. But who cares, I'm still gonna talk.
I've been going to the gym regularly recently. Seriously, you guys would be amazed by how dedicated I am towards my gym-regime if you choose to judge me by my figure. Someone really smart once said don't judge a book by it's cover and I'm gonna say "True that!". Don't let the flabs, bumps and soft-tissue fool you, my friend!
I go gyming like, 5 days a week, sometimes even every day of the week! However, the dismaying truth is I don't look anywhere near Madonna or Gwen! Or even Keira or Paris looking! The reason I chose to put these names in two different categories is because of the apparent similarity in the extra hot bods but the undeniable truth that the Hot Mamas a.k.a. Gwen and Madonna have the fittest body for hot mamas in the world. I would go trough ten times the labour pain the suffered if some almighty lord would grant me bods as hot as them... Note: I don't want the kids but I'm just trying to prove how much I'm willing to sacrifice. To be in this group you don't necessarily have to be a mama you just have to have a body worthy to be called babelicious. Like Jessica Alba.
The difference with the Paris (and Alley McBeal) group is that they're hot....but NOT hot. Get what I mean? It's like.... They're hot but they're so not fit! Look at them! People from Somalia look exactly like them minus the pretty face (an outcome of numerous cosmetic assistance, I'm sure). If you gave me a choice between obesity and Parisrexia (derivative of anorexia) then of course I'd choose the latter but come on! What is to be lusted after when all you can see is a bag of bones? The worse part is when the arch their back and you can see the whole spine just protruding out of their fragile skin. If I were I guy, I'd be too afraid I might break them to be able to get in any ass-spanking sex. And I seriously don't mean it in a dirty way, I'm just asking you the rationale behind all this craze for stick-thin figures that is chiefly driven by shallow tasteless men.
Some women might protest by saying they were born "petite" but ladies, sticking a finger down your throat after every meal DOES NOT in any way count as "born with". like, hello~! I know petite when I see one and petite definitely does not have scapula and clavicles sticking out of their shoulder. Seriously. And since anybody willing to put themselves through such pain to look a certain way *knock knock*OTHER PEOPLE dictate you should look must either be crazy, dumb or both, I think I should add in another pointer.
Sticking anything other than your finger down your throat to get the same effect does not count either.
I'm actually ashamed by how much these scheming weight-loss agencies what gained in the past decade. Not only does it show the ridiculous amount of food people gobble down, this also proves how much our intelligence have went down. I've heard these "weight gurus" at work and honestly, half a brain and a pass in your high school science subject is all it takes to look through the idiocy of it all. Fat that mysteriously disappears overnight?! Foreign enzymes that have no other affect in your body except burning all the unflattering fat away?! The magic wipe that melts you fat straight into your blood stream and gets flushed out of your body when you next crap!? If life were this simple, you'd die from a massive heart attack beforehand, caused by the almighty fat that you burned away from your waist and was transported to your heart. Idiots! Are you so altruistic that you've donated all your IQ to the smart burn-unsightly-fat-only enzyme?!
Wow, I actually managed to write quite a lot.