Damn... I forgot what I wanted to write... Again. Again, as in I thought of what I wanted to write yesterday morning, forgot it by evening, remembered it again when I woke up today. And now I lost it again. Something to do with waking up, perhaps?
I've been thinking (Again, I know) lately and I kinda like reflected upon my life (Waaa, reflection eh! Cool right?). What I've gathered is that just like life is filled with sad times and happy times, it's also filled with good and bad people.
Some where out there some bimbo is going "Oh my god, it took her THINKING and REFLECTING to realise this? What is she, an idiot?"
Just so you know, I did know this like we know that time shall move and the sun shall rise. But have you ever actually thought about it? About why time moves and doesn't stop and what exactly is time but the mechanical movement of a needle on a face that has numbers inscribed upon it?
You know there are good people out there because there are a few (very very few) who put themselves in harm's way in a selfless act of compassion. And you know there are (a whole lot) of bad people out there because there's that woman who killed her pregnant friend with a table leg and dug out the fetus and bla bla bla.
Yeah of course we do, we read them in the papers all the time! OK, I don't read but I'm guessing some people might.
How much of these stories apply to you? I for one will admit that I've never crossed paths with a serial killer before. These are just stories out there that will probably never touch your life. So how do you know that in YOUR life, there are good and bad people too? That, my friend, is where reflection comes in.
Thinking about it, forgotten names and blurred faces pass through my head. There are those people that brought sunshine to my nights, people who brought dark clouds into my days and the people who didn't have any effect on my personal solar system at all. I'm sorry to say but the last kind was my least favourite.
Don't you think you owe it to yourself to try to influence (in a positive or negative way, depending on your own liking) the world you live in?
OK, maybe not all of you are as driven in such a sense as I am but I just feel like you only have this one life. Once it's gone it's gone. So how would you like to be remembered? Worse yet, what if nobody remembers you at all? So start leaving you footprints people. Even if it be just in the sand.
In my past, there had been people who helped me grow, mature and yet still stay in touch with the part of me that still wants to climb trees and play in the rain. I hope I don't end up being the kind of person who grew up but forgot why she grew up for.
Right now, I'm sure, I want to live because I want to be able to do the things I want to do better.
What are they? Well, when I've gotten hold of them I'll remember to inform you.
When I say 'you', I don't actually know who I'm talking to. But then a lot of the time I talk to myself so I guess for me it's not so weird. An alter-ego perhaps?
I don't really remember where I was going with this.... Damn.
Oh yeah, clouds and sunshine. Well, I used to regret the wrongs I did or the dark moments I had and sometimes, even the dark clouds I met. But I seem to have reached a point of thought where I realise that giving up even a little bit of what you did would change who and where you are today by a thousand miles.
Take, for instance, the girl who nearly went to Russia and whom I would have never met if not for last-minute changes and sudden impulses.
A little bit goes a long way. I'm sure this is like a slogan for some company or something...
There's a song line by some crappy boy / girl band back in the old days (as in when I was younger) that went something like "don't give up any one of your dreams, because you never know which one you let go would have made you complete". I'm pretty sure it was Westlife.
This probably applies to your life too. Don't let go any part of your past because you never know what kind of impact a nanometer of change could have on the present. Unless you're currently in a place you don't like right now. In which case my advice would be stop regretting and start moving forward.
What I'm really trying to say is that I don't know what I did wrong or right or what I didn't do in my past that got me here, but it's safe to say that I love where I am now and I wouldn't give it back for the world.
I'm losing myself just to find a place in your mind.
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