I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning

I woke up uber early this morning to go have breakfast with my family and my dad, being the childish person that he is, wanted to go to McD for breakfast. So, there goes all the time I wasted drooling over dim sum or koay teow teng. Big yellow clown, here we come!
While eating at McD (I ate the Big Breakfast which turned out to be not so big... no wonder they always print "Picture shown for illustration purposes only." in the posters.), I thought "Which sick-ass founder would actually choose an oversized clown dressed in yellow as their mascot?". Because, honestly, you guys couldn't possibly look me in the eyes and tell me that you think that behemoth we call Ronald McDonald is cute and cuddly, right?
My bro, Lin, who I think was the whole reason the words "idiot" and "crappy" was created for, came up with yet another one of his ingenious ideas. By the way, if you didn't get what I meant back there, I was trying to say "If you guys think I'm crappy, wait till you meet Lin."
Well, his theory (which is actually a joke) is that McD was founded by a black guy (excuse me if I'm not using the politically correct term) and the sales were terrible because nobody wanted to eat a Western breakfast prepared by a black man, right? So the next day he went to powder himself up until he looked like Michael Jackson and hence the mascot of McD became a creepy looking clown. I know it's lame but until anyone can come up with a better idea, that will have to do as the explanation.
On the bright side, having a clown as a mascot must help the McD management a lot when it comes to advertising cause as I see it, KFC is definitely having a lot of trouble looking for a fat blob with white hair and a serene smile, you know, what with all the health conscious youngsters these days. If there were anyone as fat as that dude, they would be down and grumpy hence - no smile.
Ah, well, that's how my escapade at McD came to an end. I could tell you all the other crappy stuffs that comes out of my bro's mouth on the way back but I'm afraid all of you might chop yourselves to death if you had to read it all.
By the way, Farhan, since you take all the hits from MShern's lameness, let me help you out a little bit here. NO! YOU DO NOT WANT TO MEET LIN.