Ruben is.... COOL?!?!?!?

"What the hell?!" is probably the most suitable and most popular remark of anyone who reads the title, right?
I mean who in God's or Satan's or Da Vinci's name (I'm in the Da Vinci Code fever now) would say Ruben is cool? The answer to that absurd and profoundly idiotic question, my friend, will be right with you after this paragraph.
FARHAN AND MING SHERN!
Yes, these two lame-ass apes that I spend most of my youthful college life with are psychoticly insane enough to classify Ruben as "cool" and "macho". Like, hello?! This guy shakes his motha-freaking ASS when he walks, OK!?!?!? And his belly is big enough to fight the fat boss from House of The Dead 4! I mean even Eugene will look like a joke to his belly! You can actually go up to Ruben, rub his tummy and sing "Oohh~ darling when you stuff 2 roti canai into your mouth like that! You're so hot darling!" (line from Hitz.fm's "Don't Cha" song). And for My sake he looks like some slob when he sits on the chair! Have you ever noticed how he sits on the chair?! And his wardrobe! I mean if he was in show-biz he would be shot to death by now because of all his "wardrobe malfunctions"!!
By the way, fat boss's name is Temperance.
Right now we think he's getting it on with the tall Angel in our class but the girl team is very determined in rejecting this idea, especially people like "Porn Queen" Irene and Slur, saying that the Angel's taste couldn't possibly be that bad. Well, all I would like to say is "Look at Yellow Monster! Look at Michelle Yeoh!". You never know right? Some times girls can get waaay too desperate for their own good.
Thinking about Ruben is putting another song into my head. OK, Slur is going to hit me because she loves this song but I'm sorry!! It's digging its way into my brain and it won't leave!! "Pump It" by B.E.P.

When we play you shake your ass
Shake it, shake it, shake it girl
Make sure you don't break it, girl

I'm sooo sorry, Slur! I really am!
Anyway, on this matter, I don't really blame Farhan but I'm pointing all 10 fingers towards MShern for all this lame-ness. I mean seriously, that boy got some very very grave problems! Maybe being too smart is taking a toll on his head or something. I'm so glad we have someone as brave as Farhan to go and take all of MShern's lame attacks on us but too bad Farhan didn't buy some insurance because by the end of the year, I'm sure the lame attacks would have turned him into something resembling this :


Get this, dear readers. Today, Farhan and MShern actually went "lift-racing". Yes, have you ever heard of a worse or more foolish sports than that? I didn't really ask how it went but Farhan told me "It involved two lifts".... "Right~~" Oh, and to top their list of "cool" activities in the day, they also went "jumping" and "adventuring".
"Jumping" is a new noun I'm creating that basically means "jumping from one place to another that would require a certain amount of energy and skill and is thrilling". In their case, they went jumping from one sub-floor of the KDU car park to another. Note : Did you guys see how Pumba totally owned her car?!
As for "adventuring", I was just being too generous and trying to give it a little more edge. Because basically all they did was walk through all the fire-exits in KDU. "Hazard lights~~" Like I said, Too much brain makes you lame.