Out with the old, in with the new. If we're going to be so "civilised" that we start calling sexual offenders "guys who were wrongly seduced by suggestive behaviours and fashion sense of the female victims", we might as well start renaming the whole world to make it sound more Alice in Wonderland-ish.
For starters, the terms "big boned" and "heavy-set frame" is soooo cliche~. Instead, I suggest we use more sweet and delicate, albeit longer terms like "individual with a higher body mass than what society perceives as average" or maybe "individual with an excess amount of cells / adipose tissue". In fact, I'll give a pass to "personnel with an unmentionable body mass profile".
You see, the whole thing about being politically correct is to spin a million rounds and beat about the bushes as much as possible on an issue which you can actually settle with a single word, like in the case above by simply saying "fat", would become much much longer, complicated and harder to understand.
I also suggest in order to not offend Mother Nature, we shall stop calling this planet we live on as "Earth" because lets face it, there's more water visible on the surface than earth / soil / humus. Maybe we should rename it as "Warth", a combination of water and earth. Or we can just stick to the age-old saying of "3rd rock from the sun" although technically this isn't really a rock. More like a "third large entity from the sun that is classified as a planet in the Milky Way" or "the largest solid body in the Solar System".
And I believe we should revise the usage of the word "chicken" cause lately, it seems to be synonymous to cowardly. So we either stop calling "individuals with a lower bravery level" "chickens" or we stop calling chickens "chickens".
And in my mind, "chicken" somehow reminds me of SARS or am I just being discriminatory?
Tuesday, November 28
Stupidity. Such Fond Memories *blush*
DJ HanZ (a new name for him! ^.^) told me he's having his driving theory test tomorrow and suddenly I was flooded with happy memories of how things were back in my time.
I remember at the time I was about to take the "undang" test, one of the guys {he's going to France on a scholarship now (=^_^=)V *good luck*}in my class told me a few people had to retake that test because they failed it and before the worlds "tactful" and "humility" had a chance to invade my puny brain, I blurted out "Hah?! That's so dumb. Anybody can pass that without even trying!"
You can just imagine how big my ego was (and still is). As a result, my friends made me swear I won't study or attempt any of the questions supplied by the JPJ eventhough I've already wasted money on buying that questionaire CD. Like I said, anybody can pass it without even trying, right? .....Right??
Well, just barely...(=_=) I was one answer away from failing that test!! I ended up with a really really borderline pass and was sooooooo thankful I didn't have to embarrass myself and retake it.
But of course, shortly after remeniscing about it, I realized how stupid it was to put my pride and money on the line just to defend my overly humongous ego.
Then I went on to think about other happy times and came to a conclusion: all those moments were a result of our (or my) stupidity, foolishness, boredom and ADHD syndrome.
Like the time my friends and I got fed up with class and went to play basketball. The only problem there? Well, it was 12 o' clock, our classes were still ongoing, we were playing in our school compound and worse still, most of us were wearing our blue pinafores! It was so stupid! Who would run around under the afternoon sun wearing skirts?! And of course, because we were on school compound, a teacher happened to drive pass the courts and was thaaaaat close to catching us. Luckily someone spotted him first so we hid behind trees / under benches.
And let's not forget the extremely memorable new year's day we wasted..... sleeping / sitting / dozing off in front of Gurney Plaza. On the 31st of December, my friends came over to my house for a BBQ party and afterwards, we went to another friend's apartment that was facing Penang so we can get a good view of the fireworks. After everything was done, we were too fired up to go home so we ended up playing Uno Stack-up the whole night and in the morning, we went for dim sum and later some "genius" suggested we go to Gurney. Smart idea.. really smart considering it was barely 8 a.m. But of course, having been deprived of sleep the whole night, none of our incompetent brains noticed this slight technical problem and there we were, standing at the entrance of Gurney, staring at its closed doors and the corridors littered with garbage from last night's party.
Ack! And that time we went for a hotel stay at Batu Ferringhi and realized we actually have nothing to do there so another genius suggested we build sand castles. Of course, with our extremely creative minds and miracle hands *roll eyes*, we ended up competing who can make the biggest pile of sand. OK, maybe that was only for my team cause the other team actually did a pretty decent job. But anyway, you know, piling sand is a kinda hard job that needed a lot of my talent and skills.....
Aha! Then there was this other time when I was still young and innocent and was easily led astray by stupid companions. We decided to be true "rebels without a cause" one day and a gang of us wore flip-flops to school! Of course, as expected we got a stern lecturing and as punishment, the discipline teacher confisticated our footwear for the day and yup, we were all bare-footed. Like that wasn't embarrassing enough, another idiot suggested we show defiance by parading around school in such a manner so there we were, finding strength in number and walking every except the toilets with our naked toes. In the end one of my friends got pissed off at my foolishness so she went to get my sandals back.... *hehe*
Get what I mean? None of those incidents had even a tad bit of intelligence involved and yet, those were the good old days. Ah~ stupidity, ain't it beautiful?
I remember at the time I was about to take the "undang" test, one of the guys {he's going to France on a scholarship now (=^_^=)V *good luck*}in my class told me a few people had to retake that test because they failed it and before the worlds "tactful" and "humility" had a chance to invade my puny brain, I blurted out "Hah?! That's so dumb. Anybody can pass that without even trying!"
You can just imagine how big my ego was (and still is). As a result, my friends made me swear I won't study or attempt any of the questions supplied by the JPJ eventhough I've already wasted money on buying that questionaire CD. Like I said, anybody can pass it without even trying, right? .....Right??
Well, just barely...(=_=) I was one answer away from failing that test!! I ended up with a really really borderline pass and was sooooooo thankful I didn't have to embarrass myself and retake it.
But of course, shortly after remeniscing about it, I realized how stupid it was to put my pride and money on the line just to defend my overly humongous ego.
Then I went on to think about other happy times and came to a conclusion: all those moments were a result of our (or my) stupidity, foolishness, boredom and ADHD syndrome.
Like the time my friends and I got fed up with class and went to play basketball. The only problem there? Well, it was 12 o' clock, our classes were still ongoing, we were playing in our school compound and worse still, most of us were wearing our blue pinafores! It was so stupid! Who would run around under the afternoon sun wearing skirts?! And of course, because we were on school compound, a teacher happened to drive pass the courts and was thaaaaat close to catching us. Luckily someone spotted him first so we hid behind trees / under benches.
And let's not forget the extremely memorable new year's day we wasted..... sleeping / sitting / dozing off in front of Gurney Plaza. On the 31st of December, my friends came over to my house for a BBQ party and afterwards, we went to another friend's apartment that was facing Penang so we can get a good view of the fireworks. After everything was done, we were too fired up to go home so we ended up playing Uno Stack-up the whole night and in the morning, we went for dim sum and later some "genius" suggested we go to Gurney. Smart idea.. really smart considering it was barely 8 a.m. But of course, having been deprived of sleep the whole night, none of our incompetent brains noticed this slight technical problem and there we were, standing at the entrance of Gurney, staring at its closed doors and the corridors littered with garbage from last night's party.
Ack! And that time we went for a hotel stay at Batu Ferringhi and realized we actually have nothing to do there so another genius suggested we build sand castles. Of course, with our extremely creative minds and miracle hands *roll eyes*, we ended up competing who can make the biggest pile of sand. OK, maybe that was only for my team cause the other team actually did a pretty decent job. But anyway, you know, piling sand is a kinda hard job that needed a lot of my talent and skills.....
Aha! Then there was this other time when I was still young and innocent and was easily led astray by stupid companions. We decided to be true "rebels without a cause" one day and a gang of us wore flip-flops to school! Of course, as expected we got a stern lecturing and as punishment, the discipline teacher confisticated our footwear for the day and yup, we were all bare-footed. Like that wasn't embarrassing enough, another idiot suggested we show defiance by parading around school in such a manner so there we were, finding strength in number and walking every except the toilets with our naked toes. In the end one of my friends got pissed off at my foolishness so she went to get my sandals back.... *hehe*
Get what I mean? None of those incidents had even a tad bit of intelligence involved and yet, those were the good old days. Ah~ stupidity, ain't it beautiful?
Friday, November 24
The Cliff, The Edge, The Fall
I have a feeling that people are always somehow, in some sense, thinking about the opposite. It doesn't really matter what the opposite is, but we're constantly being plagued by or in some cases, longing for what lies on the other side. It's something like "the grass is always greener on the other side" but at the same time, it's a little different too. It's pretty hard to put into words for others to understand especially cause most of you don't think or look at things as freely or carelessly as I do.
For example, why do we always mourn those who've passed away instead of cherishing the other 6 billion still living in the same dimension as us? Why are most of us afraid of the darkness robbing away our laughters when we're probably living the happiest moments of ours lives?
The saying goes that you never appreciate what you have until it's gone. And it is true. We weep in front of stones and mud for those who won't ever hear our sorrow. We curse the lost of a match well-played only after the buzzer goes off and there's nothing else you can do. We only truly understand what poverty is after we taste the good life, be it through TV or by a sheer stroke of luck.
The saddest part of all this is the cliff. I see this journey like a walk through the vast and magnificient landscape of earth. On average, we walk through plains and flat land for a bigger part of our lives, occasionally there might be a jungle so thick you won't be able to see 3 steps ahead, or you might pass by the ocean and feel the soft white sand under your gentle toes. And then there is the cliff, the point of no return, the place where the lesson of appreciation is forced into your head at the speed of light regardless of what resistance you put up.
Once you fall, getting back up is close to impossible. After you reach rock bottom, you can either stand there and do nothing else but wonder what things are like up there or you can choose to find a new path from down under. It might not be as grand as what you saw back up on the cliff but maybe one day, you might stumble on a way that will lead you somewhere even higher, right? If you're lucky, an angel might just come along and pick you up too.
But the best choice is of course to reach the edge yet never fall off. On the verge of a plummeting into the great abyss but that next step into nothingness never comes. It is at those moments that you truly learn to appreciate what you have and still have the chance to use your newfound wisdom. Take a step to the edge of the cliff. If possible, bring binoculars and strap on a safety rope to be secure. Take a look at what it has to offer and wake up on the right side of the bed before it's too late.
I guess that's pretty much what i wanted to say. We all lose friends and possesions along our journey in life but it doesn't mean it has to be the end. It's not over until the fat lady sings so even if you lose sight of him, her or it, never lose sight of the feelings you harbour because that's the only thing that will lead you home. Cling onto the cliff and pull yourself back up, find a new path and make it to the top, give yourself wings and soar through the sky. It doesn't matter what method you choose as long as you don't lose sight of those feelings that allowed you to survive the fall.
For example, why do we always mourn those who've passed away instead of cherishing the other 6 billion still living in the same dimension as us? Why are most of us afraid of the darkness robbing away our laughters when we're probably living the happiest moments of ours lives?
The saying goes that you never appreciate what you have until it's gone. And it is true. We weep in front of stones and mud for those who won't ever hear our sorrow. We curse the lost of a match well-played only after the buzzer goes off and there's nothing else you can do. We only truly understand what poverty is after we taste the good life, be it through TV or by a sheer stroke of luck.
The saddest part of all this is the cliff. I see this journey like a walk through the vast and magnificient landscape of earth. On average, we walk through plains and flat land for a bigger part of our lives, occasionally there might be a jungle so thick you won't be able to see 3 steps ahead, or you might pass by the ocean and feel the soft white sand under your gentle toes. And then there is the cliff, the point of no return, the place where the lesson of appreciation is forced into your head at the speed of light regardless of what resistance you put up.
Once you fall, getting back up is close to impossible. After you reach rock bottom, you can either stand there and do nothing else but wonder what things are like up there or you can choose to find a new path from down under. It might not be as grand as what you saw back up on the cliff but maybe one day, you might stumble on a way that will lead you somewhere even higher, right? If you're lucky, an angel might just come along and pick you up too.
But the best choice is of course to reach the edge yet never fall off. On the verge of a plummeting into the great abyss but that next step into nothingness never comes. It is at those moments that you truly learn to appreciate what you have and still have the chance to use your newfound wisdom. Take a step to the edge of the cliff. If possible, bring binoculars and strap on a safety rope to be secure. Take a look at what it has to offer and wake up on the right side of the bed before it's too late.
I guess that's pretty much what i wanted to say. We all lose friends and possesions along our journey in life but it doesn't mean it has to be the end. It's not over until the fat lady sings so even if you lose sight of him, her or it, never lose sight of the feelings you harbour because that's the only thing that will lead you home. Cling onto the cliff and pull yourself back up, find a new path and make it to the top, give yourself wings and soar through the sky. It doesn't matter what method you choose as long as you don't lose sight of those feelings that allowed you to survive the fall.
Thursday, November 2
The Prettiest Girl in the Whole Wide World
I don't know if there's any saying in English but in Chinese there's a proverb that goes "bad things don't come alone". Maybe it can be translated as "misery loves company" although some meaning does seem to be lost in translation.
OK, in today's case, both proverbs will do. Around noon, I received a message from Slurrie saying she aint well and stuff bout operation and I guess she's having a really bad tummy ache so yeah, pity her~! I wonder if it's appendicitis? I guess we might find out tomorrow cause there's a plan to go visit her although it's not too sure yet.
AH!! My Slurrie~ haha, I'm actually having fun with this. OK, I WAS having fun with it.... Until karma played its horrible and cruel trick on me.
Later that evening, I passed on going to Penang with my parents and going to watch a basketball match with my friends because I have some pre-arranged appointments, and I did both with a great sense of doubt and a faint touch of regret. I mean, HELLO~ I passed on going to a freaking basketball match!! And to think they won on this match that I missed but no~ *rolls eyes* they just HAD TO lose the last one I decided to attend. *toooooooooooooot*
But, an appointment is an appointment so at about 8pm, I left the house with the house keys in one hand and my car keys hanging on another finger. I locked the door of the house which naturally required the use of the key, I walk to the gate and because it was raining I decided to unlock the doors of my car before I made the ultimate dash to it and in doing so somehow shifted the way things were arranged in my hand. By the time I reach the car, I realized that the house key was no longer in its former position and it was no where to be found on any finger either.
Of course, being me, I just dismissed it as a minor issue and got into the car before I started rummaging my bag in search of it but alas, it was to no avail. So I got out of the car (this time I was getting pretty pissed cause I'm already late) and went back to the door to see if I left it hanging there and just as I thought, I wasn't that blur. I traced my steps back to the car and I couldn't find it either so I gave up and thought there probably won't be any other person as pathetic as me to be looking for a tiny bunch of keys at night in the pouring rain so I just got into the car and drove off.
Halfway on my way there, I was informed that the freaking thing was off so I just wasted my time getting ready AND missing out on the match. Of course, at that point I was a lot more worried about the missing key because I was stuck with no proper way into the house until around 10.30pm (which is when my parents get back from Penang) unless I find them.
A word of advice to my dear readers, do not attempt to look for something that is half the size of your palm in the pouring rain at night out on the road. Just my luck by the way, the street lights weren't working at that time.
By 9, I was soaked, feeling miserable and stupid for losing the keys on my way from the house to the car (which is really really pretty stupid) so I decided to go for a ride around the housing area. That lasted about 2 minutes and didn't help me in any way either.....
So there I was, stuck, locked out of my own house BY MYSELF at night with a small bottle of water, my wallet, phone and car keys plus no friends to turn to as they've all went to the match. And I was feeling really really hungry too. Of course I could have just gone and bought some food seeing that I had money and transport as well but I felt that I would somehow feel like a bigger loser if I went out to dine alone.
Laugh all you want. I locked myself out there for over 2 hours. TWO MOFO HOURS!!! Can you imagine that?! Sitting out there in the dark, dejected with nothing but the sound of rain drops to accompany me?! OK, that was a lie cause PF was actually kind enough to message with me but still....
At around 10pm, I got fed up and was heading to the car to treat myself to a piece of cake when I found a few metal wires on the way. Being a very intelligent (translated : learned a lot from movies) and creative (translated : lives in a fantasy world), the thought of picking the lock on my own house instantly occured to me. It's not like I haven't done it before, right?
There's always a downside of watching too much movies and being totally absorbed in it. You some times forget that most of it doesn't come true. Fortunately for me, I have the blood of a true Burmese (in my own translation : useless criminal) flowing in my veins and I broke in in no time at all.
But still, TWO FREAKING HOURS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What is this post about? Absolutely nothing at all. I just felt that after that ordeal, I really needed to put it down in words so I won't ever forget how stupid I can get some times. Oh and of course to announce to any potential well-wishers that Slur is currently ill.
There you have it. My karma for laughing at people's misery. I ended up accompanying her in the same pool (=_="). And the worst irony is that I later found the keys under the car seat. Get it, KARma so the keys got lost in the CAR? Fine~ It's a lame joke.
Oh, and what ice cream is good without a touch of chocolate syrup on top, eh? I somehow lost every single one of my cute and precious emoticons in MSN messenger too for no apparent reason at all. Seriously all gone, "poof" just like that. Vanished.
PS: In case any of you are wondering, the title has nothing to do with this post. I just thought it sounds nice.
OK, in today's case, both proverbs will do. Around noon, I received a message from Slurrie saying she aint well and stuff bout operation and I guess she's having a really bad tummy ache so yeah, pity her~! I wonder if it's appendicitis? I guess we might find out tomorrow cause there's a plan to go visit her although it's not too sure yet.
AH!! My Slurrie~ haha, I'm actually having fun with this. OK, I WAS having fun with it.... Until karma played its horrible and cruel trick on me.
Later that evening, I passed on going to Penang with my parents and going to watch a basketball match with my friends because I have some pre-arranged appointments, and I did both with a great sense of doubt and a faint touch of regret. I mean, HELLO~ I passed on going to a freaking basketball match!! And to think they won on this match that I missed but no~ *rolls eyes* they just HAD TO lose the last one I decided to attend. *toooooooooooooot*
But, an appointment is an appointment so at about 8pm, I left the house with the house keys in one hand and my car keys hanging on another finger. I locked the door of the house which naturally required the use of the key, I walk to the gate and because it was raining I decided to unlock the doors of my car before I made the ultimate dash to it and in doing so somehow shifted the way things were arranged in my hand. By the time I reach the car, I realized that the house key was no longer in its former position and it was no where to be found on any finger either.
Of course, being me, I just dismissed it as a minor issue and got into the car before I started rummaging my bag in search of it but alas, it was to no avail. So I got out of the car (this time I was getting pretty pissed cause I'm already late) and went back to the door to see if I left it hanging there and just as I thought, I wasn't that blur. I traced my steps back to the car and I couldn't find it either so I gave up and thought there probably won't be any other person as pathetic as me to be looking for a tiny bunch of keys at night in the pouring rain so I just got into the car and drove off.
Halfway on my way there, I was informed that the freaking thing was off so I just wasted my time getting ready AND missing out on the match. Of course, at that point I was a lot more worried about the missing key because I was stuck with no proper way into the house until around 10.30pm (which is when my parents get back from Penang) unless I find them.
A word of advice to my dear readers, do not attempt to look for something that is half the size of your palm in the pouring rain at night out on the road. Just my luck by the way, the street lights weren't working at that time.
By 9, I was soaked, feeling miserable and stupid for losing the keys on my way from the house to the car (which is really really pretty stupid) so I decided to go for a ride around the housing area. That lasted about 2 minutes and didn't help me in any way either.....
So there I was, stuck, locked out of my own house BY MYSELF at night with a small bottle of water, my wallet, phone and car keys plus no friends to turn to as they've all went to the match. And I was feeling really really hungry too. Of course I could have just gone and bought some food seeing that I had money and transport as well but I felt that I would somehow feel like a bigger loser if I went out to dine alone.
Laugh all you want. I locked myself out there for over 2 hours. TWO MOFO HOURS!!! Can you imagine that?! Sitting out there in the dark, dejected with nothing but the sound of rain drops to accompany me?! OK, that was a lie cause PF was actually kind enough to message with me but still....
At around 10pm, I got fed up and was heading to the car to treat myself to a piece of cake when I found a few metal wires on the way. Being a very intelligent (translated : learned a lot from movies) and creative (translated : lives in a fantasy world), the thought of picking the lock on my own house instantly occured to me. It's not like I haven't done it before, right?
There's always a downside of watching too much movies and being totally absorbed in it. You some times forget that most of it doesn't come true. Fortunately for me, I have the blood of a true Burmese (in my own translation : useless criminal) flowing in my veins and I broke in in no time at all.
But still, TWO FREAKING HOURS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What is this post about? Absolutely nothing at all. I just felt that after that ordeal, I really needed to put it down in words so I won't ever forget how stupid I can get some times. Oh and of course to announce to any potential well-wishers that Slur is currently ill.
There you have it. My karma for laughing at people's misery. I ended up accompanying her in the same pool (=_="). And the worst irony is that I later found the keys under the car seat. Get it, KARma so the keys got lost in the CAR? Fine~ It's a lame joke.
Oh, and what ice cream is good without a touch of chocolate syrup on top, eh? I somehow lost every single one of my cute and precious emoticons in MSN messenger too for no apparent reason at all. Seriously all gone, "poof" just like that. Vanished.
PS: In case any of you are wondering, the title has nothing to do with this post. I just thought it sounds nice.
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