Monday, June 30

I Am in Need of Music


I am in need of music that would flow
Over my fretful, feeling fingertips,
Over my bitter-tainted, trembling lips,
With melody, deep, clear, and liquid-slow.
Oh, for the healing swaying, old and low,
Of some song sung to rest the tired dead,
A song to fall like water on my head,
And over quivering limbs, dream flushed to glow!

There is a magic made by melody:
A spell of rest, and quiet breath, and cool
Heart, that sinks through fading colors deep
To the subaqueous stillness of the sea,
And floats forever in a moon-green pool,
Held in the arms of rhythm and of sleep.

- Elizabeth Bishop

Sunday, June 29

Someday

I'm falling when I shouldn't be,
I'm crashing where I couldn't be.
Where are you, Slur?

H-WHat do you care?


I don't think you can promise someone you will never let them fall.
You don't have the power to always let them hang on to you. Sooner or later people have to fall. And the fall is what makes the person who they are.

Fortunately, you can stand up with that person forever... if you wanted to. That is if that person chooses to make a stand. If they don't then what's the point, right?
Just remember that mountains are always easier to climb when you have someone to walk the steps with you.

So be there for them through it all?

We don't really know how much we're capable of until you find that one person you're willing to lose it all for. At least that's how I feel.
Look deep down and you can find the strength to be the one.


Even if saving you sends me to heaven.

Wednesday, June 18

Champagne for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends.


I'm not supposed to be here.
Someone told me I can't blog till the exams are over. I don't know why I'm listening. By then I won't have time to blog anymore. That's kinda stupid don't you think?

Anyways, less than 2 days to go.

Fight, babes. Fight.

Thursday, June 12

Think

The rest of your life is a long time and whether you know it or not it's being shaped right now. You can choose to blame your circumstances on fate or bad luck or bad choices or you can fight back. Things aren't always going to be fair in the real world, that's just the way it is but for the most part you get what you give. Let me ask you all a question. What's worse, not getting everything you wished for or getting it but finding out it's not enough?
The rest of your life is being shaped right now with the dreams you chase, the choices you make and the person you decide to be.
The rest of your life is a long time and the rest of your life starts right now.


-Haley James-Scott, One Tree Hill

Who I was wasn't me.

Damn... I forgot what I wanted to write... Again. Again, as in I thought of what I wanted to write yesterday morning, forgot it by evening, remembered it again when I woke up today. And now I lost it again. Something to do with waking up, perhaps?
I've been thinking (Again, I know) lately and I kinda like reflected upon my life (Waaa, reflection eh! Cool right?). What I've gathered is that just like life is filled with sad times and happy times, it's also filled with good and bad people.
Some where out there some bimbo is going "Oh my god, it took her THINKING and REFLECTING to realise this? What is she, an idiot?"
Just so you know, I did know this like we know that time shall move and the sun shall rise. But have you ever actually thought about it? About why time moves and doesn't stop and what exactly is time but the mechanical movement of a needle on a face that has numbers inscribed upon it?

You know there are good people out there because there are a few (very very few) who put themselves in harm's way in a selfless act of compassion. And you know there are (a whole lot) of bad people out there because there's that woman who killed her pregnant friend with a table leg and dug out the fetus and bla bla bla.
Yeah of course we do, we read them in the papers all the time! OK, I don't read but I'm guessing some people might.
How much of these stories apply to you? I for one will admit that I've never crossed paths with a serial killer before. These are just stories out there that will probably never touch your life. So how do you know that in YOUR life, there are good and bad people too? That, my friend, is where reflection comes in.

Thinking about it, forgotten names and blurred faces pass through my head. There are those people that brought sunshine to my nights, people who brought dark clouds into my days and the people who didn't have any effect on my personal solar system at all. I'm sorry to say but the last kind was my least favourite.
Don't you think you owe it to yourself to try to influence (in a positive or negative way, depending on your own liking) the world you live in?
OK, maybe not all of you are as driven in such a sense as I am but I just feel like you only have this one life. Once it's gone it's gone. So how would you like to be remembered? Worse yet, what if nobody remembers you at all? So start leaving you footprints people. Even if it be just in the sand.

In my past, there had been people who helped me grow, mature and yet still stay in touch with the part of me that still wants to climb trees and play in the rain. I hope I don't end up being the kind of person who grew up but forgot why she grew up for.
Right now, I'm sure, I want to live because I want to be able to do the things I want to do better.
What are they? Well, when I've gotten hold of them I'll remember to inform you.
When I say 'you', I don't actually know who I'm talking to. But then a lot of the time I talk to myself so I guess for me it's not so weird. An alter-ego perhaps?
I don't really remember where I was going with this.... Damn.

Oh yeah, clouds and sunshine. Well, I used to regret the wrongs I did or the dark moments I had and sometimes, even the dark clouds I met. But I seem to have reached a point of thought where I realise that giving up even a little bit of what you did would change who and where you are today by a thousand miles.
Take, for instance, the girl who nearly went to Russia and whom I would have never met if not for last-minute changes and sudden impulses.
A little bit goes a long way. I'm sure this is like a slogan for some company or something...
There's a song line by some crappy boy / girl band back in the old days (as in when I was younger) that went something like "don't give up any one of your dreams, because you never know which one you let go would have made you complete". I'm pretty sure it was Westlife.

This probably applies to your life too. Don't let go any part of your past because you never know what kind of impact a nanometer of change could have on the present. Unless you're currently in a place you don't like right now. In which case my advice would be stop regretting and start moving forward.
What I'm really trying to say is that I don't know what I did wrong or right or what I didn't do in my past that got me here, but it's safe to say that I love where I am now and I wouldn't give it back for the world.


I'm losing myself just to find a place in your mind.

Monday, June 9

And the forest will give us the answers

I know I should be studying. I know I shouldn't be here. I know I shouldn't have watched 'No Country For Old Men' just now. I know a lot of things.
Unfortunately, I don't know anything about anatomy. Or immunity. Or antibiotics.
Turns out, I don't know a lot of things too.
I've managed to not finish a week of lectures in a week.
However, I've managed to finish 3 levels of Resistance, 3 movies, and catch up on The Ellen Show. A lot of accomplishments, none of them useful.
I know, I know. So go do some useful ones.
Easier said than done, eh?
Have a lot on my mind. Read me write this line too many times before?
But what is life but a cycle that repeats itself.
It ain't a mountain. It's a wheel. Ups and downs, rolls you all around. Mainly, everything just repeats itself. Might be in a different place, different time. But it's still spinning the same way it did way back when and where.
I forgot who, either Mark Twain or J.F. Kennedy, maybe not even them. Some old timer anyway. He said "three can keep a secret, if two were dead".
The question is, which two?

Dreams for Plans

I don't have anything to blog about!
Well I mean no pics. I have a lot on my mind actually.
First is the road trip we've been trying to plan but up till now seems a little messed up.
OK so here's what I've got so far.... it's gonna be like a 6-7 days trip to the east coast. We'll go to Stella's house first and crash there for a few days while she brings us around that tiny little place.
I've never been to Kuantan but I can just imagine how tiny it's going to be! I mean I met 2 very unrelated people from Kuantan this year (one of them Stella) and they know each other. And they're totally not related to each other in what-so-ever way except that they're both from Kuantan!
But I digress. Coming back...
So basically I think that tiny little itsy-bitsy place will take like 2 days and I want to go to the beach and waterfall too so Kuantan will be like 3 days. After that the package I've (actually it's Joann's) found so far for Perhentian is this 3 days 2 nights at a resort that cost like RM400. I know it's actually the correct price but I'm just hoping we can find a cheaper place or something. Hope the rest of the people don't mind paying for this (=.=")
Anyways...
So yeah, I was thinking take a bus over to Kuantan cause we can't really get a car. I don't really like buses though cause you know lah all those accidents and the time it takes and everything. Plus car = FREEDOM!
Can go crazy and show off my singing skills or something.
Oh by the way, I've decided that from now on I won't say "I'm gonna SING a song" anymore.
From now on, it's "I'm gonna READ a song".
Judging from the feedbacks I get (we all know how much Monashians love feedbacks), it sounds the same whether I sing or read or talk anyway.
I hate Stella for laughing at my absolutely superbly magnificent reading skills!
Where was I?
Oh yes, bussing there. Anyways so bus there in the morning, hopefully arrive by 3-4pm. Rest a while and get the trip started. Hmm... Actually, now that I put it this way, it doesn't seem so messed up anymore. Just need to sort the Perhentian part out and get my beach wear ready. Wooohooo~!
Oh, have you guys heard of Papaya Farm before?
It's on Perhentian and it's where the nudists go XD
Hope I can get there this time.


THANKS Mr. PAUL FOR TELLING US ABOUT PAPAYA FARM!!

Thursday, June 5

But The Record Keeps Playing The Same Old Song

I just found my mom's blog! Haha. No, not my biological mom. I meant the mom from my uni a.k.a. Cheryl (^.^) a.k.a. the one who was getting her ass felt by Sam in the previous post.
If only I have pics of her... Oh wait a minute, what the hell am I talking about? Of course I do! Thank god to technology and stealing pics from Facebook. Anyway, here's one:
Now you must be wondering, why is NY posting a picture of Wonder Girl as Cheryl? Well, because while going through her (very short) blog, I found a part where she was comparing herself to Wonder Girl! Of all the superheroes available, seriously, Wonder Girl! Like, Hello? If you want a female superhero even Cat Woman does a better job! But of course we all know THE ultimate is none other than Jean Grey. But we aren't here to discuss my awesome superhero taste now are we?
No no, we are here to violate Cheryl Saw's legal and ethical rights.
So yeah Wonder Girl is like Cheryl's alter ego or something. Anyway, a little about Cheryl. She is a 19 year old girl who happens to be my mother (don't ask me how she gave birth to me when she was negative one years old). She's really smart (like the 2nd highest score during our mid-sem test) which totally shocked me cause my first impression of her was bitch / bimbo. OK the bimbo part was not too true from the start cause she doesn't have big boobs. But I digress. The bitch part I got it right thought cause she really is one (in a good way). She plays the piano, drums and basketball (dunno if there are other stuffs I haven't found out yet). She used to dance ballet *rolling on the floor laughing my ass off*. Sorry to all you hot sexy ballerinas out there but you guys just crack me up. Really.
What else?
Oh, the hardest part to believe is... SHE'S NICE!
Like actually NICE!
Really, my first impression of her was so... well, let's just say it was no where near the description "nice".
She also has a very good sense of fashion and is pretty (^.^)
All this adds up to a girl I find very admirable, amusing and at the same time intimidating. I feel threatened by her cause she really is an all-rounder.
You all know how much I hate losing...
Oh, but she's really picky with her food though. And is an absent-minded klutz who loses stuffs belonging to other people like nobody's business.
And she also runs the Cheryl's School of ProNUNciation (CSP). Make sure you get it right, "proNUNciation", not "pro-nounce-ciation".
She has this thing about getting every word right or something weird like that. She is also the first friend who actually pronounced "latter" the correct way.
I love this pic! The one standing is Sam (my babe! ... who's also my lesbian mom... OK, it's a teeny weeny bit confusing) and the one hugging her is none other than the star of this post -- Cheryl! Haha, I know it's not really a good shot of her but this camwhore posts very little pictures of herself in Facebook. But still, I like it. Now her hair is um, shorter and kinda reddish.
Oh ya Slur! You see that Skinny Bitch?
Oh wait.. Haha! She's wearing her skinny bitch T! Anyway, that skinny bitch a.k.a. Sam is so freaking tall and skinny and like a frame of bones but she's only a freaking diet! We hate these kind of people don't we?!
But she's still my babe.
Anyway, moving on..
Headmistress of CSP in another stupid pose. The arm sling is very badly done by the way, the whole hand is like.... Isn't it supposed to be horizontal?? Tzuk tzuk. No wonder she looks so miserable.
This is her hair colour now but not the style though... So in one semester, she has had 3 hairstyles? Talk about impulsive. Crappy pic but just to show you guys a pic of her.
Hmm... I wonder how she pronounces the word "martyr". Gosh, I don't even know how to spell it.
Anyways, the next pic has very little to do with Cheryl and I really don't know who the other two people are but the girl on the right just looks so.... Haha, well, she makes the pic very interesting. XD

Sunday, June 1

Pursuit of Life

The previous two nights have been awesome for me. After such a long life-fast period (as in I have no life so I pretend I'm going on a fast to study / um... do nothing bla bla bla), finally seeing the sun..... I feel like just shouting "I'm alive!!" This is supposed to be like "Finally, I can breathe!" In case you guys don't get this random picture I stole from someone's deviantart. So anyways, the lowdown on my showdown. Gosh it rhymes! Yesterday after the last PCL a.k.a. the last day of class for sem 1, we had a PARTAYYYY (sponsored by the school, of course). And Dr. Lakshmi was so nice that she even bought our group a carrot cake! Delicious but unfortunately, I feel very fat now. Anyways, scenes from the party! My group even held like a private concert thingey. Slur, I sang! Hahahaha, I bet you're imagining the torture my audience was subjected to now. Evil! Oh lame moment: If my name is Seng, then I could say "Seng sing sang sung a song!" XD The cake! Phtsssss, let me tell you a secret. I ate 2 and a half pieces! Shhhh! Don't tell anyone OK? I'm trying to keep this a secret from my body so that they won't give me extra fat just to teach me a lesson bout indulgence. The last PCL group C photo T.T I hope my group next sem will be as awesome as this one. We had so much fun making stupid jokes AND smart ones! Of course, the smart ones were never contributed by me.... By the way, Aliya, regardless of how much I poke fun at your country, I would still rather get a Canadian than an American anytime anywhere. This is me and my gang being idiots. You guys better get the names of everyone in this pic down right. The left-most is the great me, of course. Beside me is Christine, then Yvonne, Rebecca, Catherine and Aliya. Yes, I'm the only one without an English name. You know why? Cause I'm the only non-banana! Ok, wait, Aliya is brown and Canadian so she can't be a banana but still... You get what I mean lah! Slur, can you believe that there are tons of people in my class who can't even speak Chinese up to my standard?! It's unbelievable. More pics of us~ This is supposed to be like a supermodel-kihiao pose but um.... Ended up looking more like a lousy train. Grr..... No idea what they were doing.... Is Aliya... slipping whil kicking Becca's butt? Anyways, just to give you an idea of the idiots I hang out with. Again, Aliya, is that a kick? Asians are definitely better at posing....(=.=") except Yvonne. Oh yeah, Slur, Yvonne is the fake-slur I was telling you about the last time. She's is really really slur. It's like you guys are somehow related or something. And finally *drum roll please* time for the concert!!!!!
*Damn. Can't load the vid. I'll load it later.*
This is Gavin the wannabe leader singing (in case his voice is so horrible that you guys can't make it out) Britney's Oops I Did It Again. It was hilarious. Especially the part where Sandeep (the guy at the start of the video) comes into our room just to laugh at Gavin. XD Then there's also a video of me and the rest of the people singing Hot by Avril! Haha, lucky their voice drowned my.... talented in some twisted artistic way voice out. OK, so that was just the morning of Friday. Afterwards, we went to watch Indiana Jones! It was soooooo awesome! Seriously, if you haven't watched it yet, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE?!??! But I can't believe that Evonne and a few of the girls fell asleep. Patrik slept too but then he does lack some testosterone so I can understand why he didn't like it. It was awesome! I'm gonna sing the Indiana Jones theme song everytime I walk into a room now :) After that, Sam and a few people went home while me, Cheryl, Stella and Hui Ruan stayed for dinner. We ate Vietnamese, went broke and then went shopping! Haha, I didn't but Stella needed some flats. Due to her um, unfortunate vertical position, she feels the need to always wear a minimum of 2-inch heels. Of course we all know how horrible heels are and how much they hurt so you can actually see what it has done to her feet. So as good friends, we decided to force her to buy her first-ever flats. Seriously, this girl has enough clothing items to drown the whole of Penang but no flats AT ALL. After changing into the comfy flats, she felt more like walking so we went for a "long kai". I learned a new Cantonese word! That means "drive around". So we just drove and drove and drove until I decided to stop polluting the earth and killing polar bears so the great Cheryl lead us to a coffee shop to just sit and talk. When I said "coffee shop" I was imagining at least like an Oldtown. She, however, brought us to... a roadside mamak.... Awesome *roll eyes* As for Saturday... Early morning, I woke up and went to play basketball. Didn't really play cause my knees were killing me. At 9, Stella and I went to school to wait for Samantha to come pick us up and go for dim sum. However, when we reached school, Sam called Cheryl to ask how far she is and guess what? Cheryl just woke up. Again... Awesome *roll eyes* So we wait and we waited and we waited. After ONE FREAKING HOUR, Cheryl finally appears but by that time, I had to go fetch my bro to the bus station. So I decided to go back but then Cheryl felt bad (cause I LOOVEEE dim sum) and said she'll follow me and after that we'll try to find the dim sum shop together. However, the catch is this: Both of us don't know where the shop is. So, after sending my bro off, we went on our first adventure of the day to find the Hong Kee Dim Sum! It was really either a very huge stroke of luck or Cheryl was hiding her navigating talents somewhere but amazingly, we got there (which was kinda far) without getting lost even once! Of course there were moments of doubt and thinking "Holly shit" but all in all, we didn't get lost!
By the way, the dim sum there was pretty good. I ate enough to feed a country.
Afterwards I went home and showered then went back to school to study.
That's us studying. Sam the pervie and Cheryl the victim!
We studied and studied until dinner time when we thought "OK, dinner then back to study". Again, Sam took us to some weird place that no one knew about and we had dinner. Unfortunately, by that time my gastric was back again so I felt like puking all the way through and couldn't eat. But that's not the case here. After eating, we were supposed to go back and study but I duno how that translated to going long kai again. So there we were, out on the streets again two nights in a row. This time, we put on some music and sang (mostly me entertaining them with my amazingly monotonous voice) till my lungs wanted to burst. Seriously, Stella couldn't help admiring how horrible my voice is. None of them could do what I was doing because all of them have some music background but they were all amused and in awe of my abilities. The worst part of all this admiration is, I was really really trying to sing properly....