Monday, May 28

Money Money Money

I was watching a show called Forbes 20 Richest Women In Entertainment just now and I learned a few things.
1. I'm never gonna be as rich as these sick bastards.
2. You can be as ugly as Janet Jackson and still be rich.
3. If you're Mariah Carey, you can be ugly, have a very pitchy voice, big boobs and pay people to spray 24 karat gold all over for you for that extra glitter.
4. If you're Madonna (who's above Mariah), you can be old, ugly and suck at singing but stil get diamond studed fake eyelashes.
5. I hate these rich bastards for being filthy rich.
6. Julia Roberts is an angel who cares for the earth by driving a Prius eventhough she's a sick bastard who is the highest paid actress of all time.
7. Despite what we all think, Tom Cruise is NOT a girl... I was sooo hoping they'd put him on that list.
8. You can write stupid children's books called Harry Potter (which I really love reading) and earn 1 billion dollars even BEFORE you finish the very last installment. To think she was living off welfare when she sold her first Harry Potter book.
9. Oprah Winfrey is so freaking rich you wanna burn her alive but she does so many humanitarian stuffs that you'd feel guilty for it... but stil wanna burn her. She has 1.5 billion dollars. I'd be happy with just 0.01% of her fortune.

At least we don't normal a.k.a. non-millionaire / billionaire people don't have to get slaped in the face with this fact:
10. In a few years when Paris Hilton's father dies, she and her blondness and trademark stupidity along with that never aging Tinklebell is gonna inherit a shit-load of money and pass a lot of people on that list like a breeze.
FYI, Paris is number one on the list of top heirs in the world.
Oh, the horror of life of the rich and famous!!!!! They have to worry about living below the soon-to-be billionaire Paris while we've the luxury of trying to survive on char siu pui lunches.

Saturday, May 19

Happiness Is Man-Made. It's Fake.

I'm wounded by grief. Oh~ how this heart aches with sorrow! (Trying to act dramatic)
Slur, do you realize that in a month's time, we would have nothing, nil... not a single thing to do with each other anymore. It's over. We had a good run, it was a fun one and half year bla this and that but in one months time we'll no longer wake up so early in the morning and think "I have school today."
Yeah, sure we'll message each other (maybe) constantly and say "Let's go out!" but that'll be it. In another 4 months Han and MS (and possibly you) are going to a different continent. Wow~! I'll no longer have to listen to a big hamster whine (^.^)V PEACE~~!!
So before these ties that bind gets severed by time, let's make a few plans first.
1) Shu! You owe me a date, k? You're welcomed to give me more than one.
2) Pat, don't go back to Thai (if you were planning to) so early cause after the exams, we're definitely gonna go climb Penang Hill, k? And Mae says she wanna go to Thailand or just Phuket or something. You can be our tour-guide!
3) Slur, please please please ask or force your mom to let you out more often cause we have a lot of things to do and I don't have the patience to wait around for a big hamster.
4) Han! Since you don't have NS anymore, faster make plans for our holiday!
And that's it. It's sad to know that in a few months time we'll pack our bags and go our way so before that happens, let's make this a time to remember.

Saturday, May 12

OH MY *censored* GOD!!!

Scientist spend billions of dollars trying to decipher the reason why youngsters these days are getting so violent when the answer is staring straight back at them in the morning shows! It took me one meal at a Japanese restaurant to find the root of all evil that plants seeds of darkness in the minds of our generation: Tom & Jerry!
That idiotic Jerry (the mouse) is so full of spite, hatred, jealousy and nonsensical violence! I can't believe such malicious actions by that ugly cousin of Mickey Mouse is deemed safe enough for the viewing of kids all over the world! Such monstrocity and atrocity! Who could those supposedly mother-knows-best and no-liquor-till-you-18 and the censor-everything-fun adults actually approve it for general viewing!
If it were up to me, I wouldn't allow even U-21 to watch it man!
And I'll ban Barney just cause his purpleness annoys me... See what I'm saying? I grew up watching Tom & Jerry and see how irrationally spiteful I am!
And now those brainless scientists go like "Ooo~ Uga booga, video game no no good. Ugaga no no play video game. Video game many many violent!"
Violent my left foot! It has nothing compared to the silly antics of Jerry.
He (or it, as you prefer) burns Tom's feet for no reason at all.
He catapults Tom into and tree and throw Tom into a boiling pot!
He relentlessly gets in the way of Tom everytime Tom tries to do his own thing like flirt with a female cat.
He throws bombs at Tom.
He sets really really emotionally and physically traumatising traps for Tom.
And the list goes on and on. So what say you my little friend? Is the picture below more violent than the thought of your fellow siblings watching Tom & Jerry while thinking I can do that to my enemy/friend and it's gonna be alright. What can be more disturbing than a six year old thinking he can throw his mom into a boiling hot pot and she'd come out alright?
Wait... I got an answer for that.
BARNEY!!