Misery Business

What is love?
If somebody knows, please tell me. If you even have the faintest idea about what this is all about then I beg you to tell me.
What is it? Think about it for a while here.
I can tell you all the text book answers to it, but the question is, which one is true?
How can some people fall in love with different people so many times? How can some people fall in love with different people at the same time? And these aren't fake love as long as those people are concerned. I mean sure there are people out there who just say "Yes I love.." without actually thinking about it but there are also people who think about it and realise they're (were) in love with more than one person.
If yes, then how come such a thing is possible as this totally contradicts the theory of a soul mate. Isn't there supposed to be that one person out there who's supposed to be meant (made) for you? Or maybe there are soul mates. There are more than one?
Is that why some people fall in love more than once?
But what if there really is just one soul mate out there but he lives in Iraq and you live on Mount Everest? Is there like destiny and at one point in life you will definitely meet the soul mate regardless? However what if the your supposed soul mate doesn't believe in soul mates and when the time came he just took the best option available and hence when destiny really does come to play he won't be available anymore. I mean people who believe in destiny and soul mates have to believe in morality and know that cheating is not right. And you say so leave the non-soul mate and go with the soul mate?
But what if you can really love more than one person at the same time and you really love your wife so you can't leave her for the soul mate even if god himself came down and told you "That woman you just meant in the bar is the woman i created just for you. I'm sorry I couldn't bring the two of you to meet sooner but oh well.."
If any or all of what I just said is true, then what is love? If none of it is.... then does love even exist?
Is there even such a thing as a soul mate? Maybe it's just something someone made up to get the girl of his dreams to go all lovey dovey and say "I do" to him.
Maybe the so-called "soul mates" out there who last forever until they die till eternity bla bla bla aren't really soul mates, they just happen to be two people who met, felt the attraction, married had kids and worked through all the fights and quarrels and hurts and hates and one day died. Maybe they were supposed to break up / divorce but they died too early and hence that appointed date of separation never came to materialise?
If you have to work through all of it, is that really love? I mean that's a part of a relationship I get it but is that really love?
Scientifically speaking love is as simple as it gets : lust, attraction, attachment. It doesn't last forever and you can have as many as your heart desires. You meet someone you define as hot / pretty/ beautiful / phat /sexy and lust appears. You act on that lust and talk / date / have sex and get to know that person beyond physical matters and attraction comes to play. After spending intimate moments with that person you find yourself used to the idea of him / her and hence attachment begins. Biologically and evolutionarily speaking we have to mate and reproduce to ensure our existence on this planet so the attachment is the part where you have sex make babies and make it through until the infant can survive. After the baby is born all biology and evolutionary needs end (unless you want to make more with the same person) and you can either leave or raise it.
Lust last for maybe months. Attraction last for a few years... some say up to three. So the attachment part is the part we're all interested in. Attachment is the bonding which promotes relationships that last for many years, and even decades. Attachment is generally based on commitments such as marriage and children, or on mutual friendship based on things like shared interests.
But before marriage existed and people were told you have to raise your children responsibly so they won't turn up to be serial killers or Hitlers, what was there?
There was lust and attraction and chemicals in your brain that we know define as "love".
If science is correct then there's no such thing as soul mates, right? But then I believe in science with as much heart as a person can give it but some times, just some times, I start thinking.
I think about the times when I felt a pain so terrible I really thought "Oh my god, my heart is breaking". But scientifically, a heart can't actually break. Not unless you freeze it and smash it with a sledge hammer, no. It's an internal organ that pumps to distribute oxygenated and deoxygenated blood in your body. How can a piece of muscle tissue BREAK from emotions? But it just really feels like it's breaking, you know?
And what if, just what if, all those people out there who are in love.... Maybe they aren't?
Maybe they saw someone and the idea of love hit them at that time and so somehow they subconsciously talked themselves into love with the other person, but it isn't love at all. It's just self-hypnotisms. Right?
In an article from Wiki, it says love can't be universally explained because our thoughts exist in so many different languages that affects our beings and hence you can't but a definite definition to such an abstract thing. Some say it's easier to experience than to explain.
But if no one can explain what love is to you, how would you know that particular emotion you're feeling is love and not something else?
Some say love isn't a feeling, it is an activity. But how can any romanticist actually believe that?
In the end, we're left with that one question we started with. What is love?

Through The Looking Glass

Been a long time since I lasted posted. And this time, it has not been for a lack of material. I've been thinking, a lot. A whole lot. Just never really got the chance to put it into words. Now I'm just plain lazy to do so.
So let's talk about something recent. Everyday is an adventure, right? Well, here is another chance for you to get to know a little more about me. I can't tell a story for shit.
Like seriously.
I think I do quite good on paper (or webpage... If you insist on being sooo technical). But in words, I suck! And no, I'm not in one of those self-depreciating moods. It's just the truth.
It's not to say I suck at talking, because.... well, that would probably be the biggest lie of the millennium. My problem is story-telling or relaying or whatever. When I was in primary school I did the oh-so-big mistake of taking part in a story telling contest and I lie not when I say this. It was the most boring 4 minutes of the lives of anybody who cared to pay attention. As if that wasn't enough proof, I thought I might spice up my tutoring classes and get my young students to get interested in reading books so one day, I ventured down the long and dark path of trying to tell them a story from one of the books available.
My god, who terribly that turned out.
Once was enough for me to not to want to do it again..... NEVER!
Then the other day, my father asked about this movie and since the whole car was silent (me, my bro and parents were driving down to KL) so I thought, what the heck, even though this is usually my mom's territory, guess it won't hurt if I tried.
Again, how terribly that turned out.
The movie was The Painted Veil and it tells the story of this young married couple. They go to this very dirty place, the guy gets a disease and dies.
At least, according to me, that's what happened. Upon hearing my excellent account, my brother was baffled beyond his mind as to how horribly a person can tell a story. This is what Wikipedia had to say about it:
Kitty Garstin is a pretty, shallow young woman from a well-to-do London family, under pressure from her parents to find a husband. Soon after she meets him at a party, she marries Dr. Walter Fane , an earnest, socially awkward doctor on leave from China, even though she does not love him. The Fanes move to Shanghai, where Dr. Fane is stationed in a government lab studying infectious diseases. Soon bored, Kitty meets Charles Townsend , a married British diplomat who is a serial womanizer, and has an affair with him. When Walter finds out, he gives her an ultimatum: come with him to the Chinese interior to assist with a cholera epidemic relief effort for which he has volunteered, or face a divorce on the grounds of her adultery. Kitty turns to Townsend to persuade him to divorce his wife and marry her. When Townsend, to Kitty's surprise but not Walter's, refuses to leave his wife for Kitty, she chooses to travel inland with her husband. At first, Walter and Kitty barely speak to each other. Kitty is miserable, with nothing to do. She decides to volunteer at a local orphanage run by French nuns, which her husband visits often outside of his lab work. In this setting Kitty begins to see her apparently-cold husband in a new light, as she learns what a selfless and caring person he can be. The Fanes' marriage blossoms into love. She grows to care about the children at the orphanage, while Walter tends to the sick and looks for a way to stop the spread of the epidemic despite resistance from the populace and the local warlord in the politically torn China of the 1920s. After their reconciliation Kitty learns she is pregnant, but is unsure whether Charlie or Walter is the father. Just as the local cholera problem is coming under control, diseased refugees from elsewhere pour into the area, forcing Walter to set up a refugee camp outside town. Walter contracts cholera and dies, devastating Kitty, who returns to London. Five years later, walking with her young son Walter, Kitty runs into Townsend on the street. Townsend makes small talk with them both for a short while and begins to suggest a meeting with Kitty. However, Kitty rejects his overtures and walks away.
Anyway, my point is I can't tell a story but until then, I still didn't realise that for a fact. I just thought my brother was being awfully mean.
Then just now I was watching this Top 25 Celebrity bla bla bla and I was listening to this woman's recount of a near death experience she had and I just couldn't believe how hard that message hit home.
I can't tell a story for shit. Seriously.
I mean just the thought of having to give myself some intonations give me a fright. Like, you know. It's so freaking childish! You read a book because the book is interesting, NOT because the person who wrote it can read it very well. That's just superficial crap!
I try, oh I do try to do it. When I was trying to tell that story to my students not so long ago. Oh how I tried to make the terrifying parts sound scary and the good parts sound sweet. In the end I ended up telling them what's involved and how it ended and asked them to read it themselves.
Gosh, I'm like a handicap.