What's Going On?

It's no surprise a lot of people can't get their English right, it's not really their fault. I mean, think about it, English is probably the most unnecessarily complex yet most commonly used language in the world. I know that more people in this world speak Chinese than English but this, too, isn't that odd considering the amount of Chinese people around the world, but even so, English is the universal language and the onslaught of globalisation requires that we have a good command over it, hence the need for us youngsters of the world to grab it by the throat and slaughter it.
However, from my observation, this ain't going too smooth, especially when signs like these exists :
If Henry Higgins from "My Fair Lady" were to see this, he would become the modern day Jack the Ripper, vowing to destroy all those who use such stupid English. Just look at it! Accordng to this poster, we are to be serve Hainanese Chicken set cooked by a chicken itself! I bet when that chicken goes to "Chicken Hell", he is going to get one hell of a beating for betraying his own kind and serving them to us. Ladies and gentlemen, that's not all. We are also to eat rice that have been tasted by other people. I mean, who knows where his hands have been before he comes to taste our rice and don't even get me started on the possibility that he drools. Oh, by the way, I have a feeling this shop is totally over-charging because we have to pay them $5 just to put our legs in whichever position we would like when we're seated.
Anyway, I was saying English is a tough language right? Here are some things that I can't figure out. Would appreciate some help if you guys don't mind.
1) Why do we say "in the morning" and "at night" but not vice versa?
2) If "don't" is the short form of "do not", why is it OK to say "Don't you dare run away." but wrong to say "Do not you dare run away."?
3) Same as number 2, but my English is a little poor so I don't know if this sentence is correct. Can "Why can't you just leave?" be said as "Why can not you just leave?". No, right?
If you guys have anything else to say, then feel free to just comment. And let me leave you guys with a few translation that have gone terribly wrong.

1. Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
   Guests are requested not to smoke or do other disgusting behaviours in bed. (Naughty naughty~)
   
2. On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
   Our wines leave you nothing to hope for. (This is what I call "Great Advertising")
   
3. In a Tokyo bar:
   Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts. (Hahahaha!!!!!!!!)
   
4. In a Bangkok temple:
   It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man. (What the...)
   
5. Hotel lobby, Bucharest:
   The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
6. Hotel elevator, Belgrade:
   To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order. (Can anybody tell me what this means?)
   
7. Hotel lift, Paris:
   Please leave your values at the front desk. (I know people are getting more and more materialistic but to ask your customers to leave their values? That is cheap!)
   
8. Hotel, Athens:
   Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 am daily. (What if we had nothing to complain about? Do we really have to do it "daily"? What if I can't wake up so early! God, staying in this hotel is so stressful.)
   
9. Hotel, Yugoslavia:
   The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid. (Okie dokie.)
   
10. Hotel, Japan:
    You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid. (I must say this is my favourite translation.)
    
11. Taken from a menu, Poland:
    Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion. (You let your roasted ducks loose but you beat your beefs up like there's no tomorrow? OK.)
    
12. Dry cleaner's, Bangkok:
    Drop your trousers here for the best results. (I'm getting a really funny and not so decent image in my head now.)
    
13. A sign posted in GermanyΆs black forest:
    It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for this purpose. (PLease enlighten me here because I have always believe that there are only 2 sexes in this world, which is male and female. How come they make it sound as if "men and women" are just 2 of the many sexes that exist?)
    
14. Hotel, Zurich:
    Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose. (I bet this is just a way for the hotel management to watch free porn.)
    
15. Tailor shop, Rhodes:
    Order your summers suit. Because is big rush, we will execute customers in strict rotation.
16. A laundry in Rome:
    Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time. (The owner of this shop must be a very perverted guy.)
    
17. Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia:
    Take one of our horse-driven city tours. We guarantee no miscarriages. (oh my god, pregnant ladies should stop going on horse-driven city tours if this sign is any good.)
    
18. Advert for donkey rides, Thailand:
    Would you like to ride on your own ass? (Too funny to pass.)
    
19. In the window on a Swedish furrier:
    Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin. (Ah~ the price of beauty.)
    
20. Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan:
    Stop. Drive sideways. (Is that even possible?)
    
21. Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
    We take your bags and send them in all directions.
22. Cocktail lounge, Norway:
    Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar. (OK, next time any of you wanna give birth, don't go to this bar.)
    
23. At a Budapest zoo:
    Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
    
24. Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner, Japan:
    Cooles and heates: If you want just condition of warm air in your room, please control yourself. (Hahahahaha!!)
    
25. Car rental brochure, Tokyo:
    When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

Had a great time looking for these. (^.^)