When The Screws Start To Rattle

I recently realized a phenomenal fact about my brain.
It's useful in every useless aspect.
No arguments please, I think I know my upstairs better than you.
Anyway, what's going on? While on the way back from the monastery in Lunas (it's a long way home and I'm sitting in a car with yesterday's paper and a radio), I found myself singing to every single song played by Hitz.fm. Every single one of them. Occasionally I switched to Mix.fm and surprise, surprise, I could sing all those too. My point here? I have no musical talent what-so-ever (trust me, I have a gazillion more-than-willing friends to testify for me), yet I can memorize the lyrics of all those crappy, or as my mom would say, "headache songs". However, I can't read through the first chapter of Biology without being drowned under the weight of an ocean of question marks popping out of my head at the rate of 9.99 x 10^99 units per second. Don't even get me started on Chemistry....
astoundingly useless achievement number 2 : I have this very unhelpful ability of estimating (to the closest RM10) of a product after discount without the aid of any machinery or gadgets in a matter of seconds. Unfortunately, I can barely score 20 marks in my Mechanics, and my Pure Maths and Statistics aren't that much different either. Oh yeah, in case you were wondering : Yes, 20 marks out of a hundred.
Hmm, what else... Oh, I know Chad Michael Murray (from "One Tree Hill" and "House of Wax") had his small intestines removed after a football accident and so he can't gain weight, but I don't really understand what the translation and transcription of a DNA are. Yeah, and I know Mischa Barton loves eating sushi and chocolate.
I actually believe that my parents have been keeping a very deep and dark secret about my past from me. I bet a few years ago, maybe when I was a kid, I knocked my head on something really really hard or maybe received an extremely high voltage electric shock to my brain and because of some strange medical miracle, I survived but a few screws in my head got toasted and the rest of them came loose. Maybe that would explain the "cling-clang" noises I hear whenever I shake my head.....
So, my dear friends, I would like to argue that my current condition isn't entirely my fault you know? It's like a disease, I'm handicapped. You can't discriminate against me, it would be politically incorrect. It would be like singing "Baa baa black sheep" instead of the newly remixed version : "Baa baa rainbow sheep". If you don't get this joke, it proves you don't read the paper! Anyway, there was this article by my favourite The Star writer, Mary Schneider, about all the politically correct terms in use these days and some officials decided to dye the fur of our much beloved black sheep to become rainbow coloured as they felt the word "black" was a wee bit too racist. Oh, by the way, you can't say "Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs" anymore, it's discriminatory. You have to say "the little people" or "the vertically challenged".
As I was saying. Stop discriminating me just because I happen to talk without thinking or most of what I say never make sense, I didn't choose to be this way. It must be God's will or something! Oh wait... Aren't I supposed to be God? Ah~ Whatever....
OK, just to set things straight. If the electric shocked occurred because I poked my hand into a hole that had the sign "Danger! High Voltage : Do Not Poke Your Hand In You Little Rat." on it, it was probably because the sign was written in French or something. I can't be blamed.
And while we're on the subject of God. If God created men and everything else... who created God? I mean, did he just.... happen to be there since the beginning of time? Or maybe HE was the one that started time! OK, maybe he's not a he, I mean there is a song name "God Is A Girl", so I should be saying "he / she". It would be a little discriminating to just assume God is a guy just because he is powerful, right?