I see a lot of blogs are really themed and I can't help but realize how much of a mess mine is. But I like it this way. It shows my true colours.
I don't normally say what I want to or feel face to face so this is probably one of the rare places where I'm free to speak my mind and be sure to not have an audience. Even so, I'm too paranoid to actually cut all the strings.
Have you ever wondered what would happen if for one day of your life you were allowed to say everything you wanted to say. Just let go of everything and blabber away. Gosh, that'd be so nice. I guess that's something that'll only happen in my dreams. No holds barred nothing to lose and nothing to gain situation. Like seriously, you aren't talking for anything except to get your heart out.
Chasing dreams.
I don't think closure is something I'll be able to achieve.
Tuesday, October 30
Saturday, October 27
Dying Is The Day Worth Living For
Is there something wrong with me? Like seriously. And I don't count being paranoid or extremely lame as "something wrong"... Or are they?
I've been reading this book on the Clinical Years of studying medicine and I know it's a reallllly long way to go before I reach that (Clinicals start in year 3, for those of you who are less informed) but you know, my dad's friend gave the book to me as an unintended spur of the moment gift and I just finished my Roald Dahl book so I guess there's nothing in my way to stop me.
So OK, here's the thing. In the book, the first chapter is how to conduct an interview/consultation with the patient to access what's wrong or "not right" with him/her in an acceptable and respectable way. One of the tips they give is empathy and understanding. To get off on the right foot, we're advised to put ourselves in their shoes and try to remember the last time we had to visit the doctors because we had a "not right" situation ourselves.
That is the part that really gets me. I've never sat in a waiting room before, I've never been to the doctors (unless you consider wasting time in my dad's office because I forgot my house keys and can't find anyone to give me a set) and I most definitely have never felt the kind of anticipation and fear or palpitations in my palms as a result of it.
So does that make me "not right" by itself? Is it wrong to not have been subjected to such examination before?
More importantly, does my lack of that experience compromise my future ability to interact on that level? Like seriously, I'm not too well known for my empathetic skills and I highly doubt I could summon up a mysterious amount of empathy from thin air.
Am I weird?
I've been reading this book on the Clinical Years of studying medicine and I know it's a reallllly long way to go before I reach that (Clinicals start in year 3, for those of you who are less informed) but you know, my dad's friend gave the book to me as an unintended spur of the moment gift and I just finished my Roald Dahl book so I guess there's nothing in my way to stop me.
So OK, here's the thing. In the book, the first chapter is how to conduct an interview/consultation with the patient to access what's wrong or "not right" with him/her in an acceptable and respectable way. One of the tips they give is empathy and understanding. To get off on the right foot, we're advised to put ourselves in their shoes and try to remember the last time we had to visit the doctors because we had a "not right" situation ourselves.
That is the part that really gets me. I've never sat in a waiting room before, I've never been to the doctors (unless you consider wasting time in my dad's office because I forgot my house keys and can't find anyone to give me a set) and I most definitely have never felt the kind of anticipation and fear or palpitations in my palms as a result of it.
So does that make me "not right" by itself? Is it wrong to not have been subjected to such examination before?
More importantly, does my lack of that experience compromise my future ability to interact on that level? Like seriously, I'm not too well known for my empathetic skills and I highly doubt I could summon up a mysterious amount of empathy from thin air.
Am I weird?
Friday, October 19
It's A Shame There's No One To Blame For All The Pain That Life Brings
“How would you like to live forever?” asked Ski.
“I think it’s pretty ridiculous. What would you do for forever?”
“It seems cool. I would play basketball forever.”
I rolled my eyes. “Uh huh, so even when you’re 300 years old with creaking knees and no teeth at all, you’re still going to play basketball under the sun and run around chasing the ball? When will you retire from your job, assuming that someone would want to hire a 300-year-old grandma?”
Ski turned to face me, her facial expression hidden by the shadow of the leaves above our heads. From all the time we’ve spent together, I already know she’s going to once again start her lecture about being more optimistic and romantic and stop thinking about all the technical problems in dreaming. If time permitted, she would also go into her lecture about just enjoying life and not worry about careers or all the strains and pains of the adult world.
“Hei! What you guys waiting for? Come on! We need 2 more players to play 5-5!” came Link’s voice from the basketball court.
“Stop wasting time there and let’s play some ball, you guys!” shouted Bel, as if she was afraid Link’s voice wasn’t loud enough to wake up the whole world.
As I rushed to join them, I couldn’t help myself from smiling. I stopped for a while and looked up at the sky; the rays of sunlight were casting a warm glow on us as the clouds glided slowly with the wind.
This is my life. A large portion of it is spent with my 3 best friends as we talk about life, world news and everything under the sun, but mostly our conversation circles around who’s dating who and the weight of everyone we know. We play basketball to pass our time when the weather warranted. We’re high school students but we don’t seem to find a meaning in studying until the very last second before exam begins. In short, we are everything teenagers should be and everything parents wish their children won’t grow up to become.
George Bernard Shaw said “Youth is wasted on the young.” And I couldn’t agree more. But quite frankly, I couldn’t care less. We don’t have work; we don’t have a family to feed or deadlines to meet. Time is the only thing we could callously spend at our own desire. That was four months before I learned my first lesson on time. It was only four months later that I began my journey on discovering how a second in a person’s life could change the story of so many lives.
Xxxxx
People say that when you’re sixteen, you make your debut into society and finally dip your hands into the future you’re going to be living out. Indeed we had our future laid out before us, the possibilities only limited by our own abilities and desires.
July 17th year 2004. It was a glorious Saturday morning unlike the other mornings we have been waking up to for the past couple of weeks. For once in so many days, my morning wasn’t accompanied by the roaring of thunders and the sound of raindrops splattering upon the windows. I found myself sitting once again under the same tree I sat four months ago, only this time I was alone, waiting for Ski and Link’s arrival. I took a glance at my watch. 23 minutes pass the time we agreed to meet up, at least another 7 minutes until the time when they would actually show up. Malaysian punctuality, something we could truly be proud of.
Just as leaned back to enjoy the occasional silence I was granted, Avril Lavigne’s voice jolted me back to reality. I picked up the phone to hear someone sobbing and an ambulance wailing in the background. I was ready to say “wrong number” and put the phone down when to my utter surprise, Link’s voice came from the other end of the line. “Niyi, it’s me. Look, we have an emergency here. Can you call your father and ask him to get the emergency room at his hospital ready for two patients?”
A little panicked and doubtful, I asked “What’s going on here? Why is there an ambulance?”
I would never forget the sights and sounds that followed that conversation in the next couple of hours. A few dazed actions later, I had my father waiting at the hospital as my mom fetched me there. Another glance at my watch, 16 minutes since Link called me. I can’t believe this is happening. We were only 16 years old.
As I stepped through the sliding doors at the hospital’s entrance, I couldn’t help but give a cold shiver as I remembered all the people crying along the corridors every time I came to find my father in his office. Having been here a great number of times, I found myself in the Emergency Ward with no trouble at all. I looked at the chairs at the beds, not a single familiar face. At that point, I didn’t know whether I should give out a sigh of relief or grief that my friends aren’t there yet. I paced up and down the white corridor when my phone rang again.
“Where are you? I’m at the X-ray department?” said Link.
“Coming. Be there in 2 minutes.”
I dashed down the corridors that seemed similar to each other until I finally arrived at where Link was, sitting nervously on the floor. To my horror, her basketball jersey was stained with blood. In fact, almost all clothing and bags lying beside her was stained a dark red colour. She looked up at me. That was the first time I’ve seen her cry since I met her years ago. Although the stench of blood was strong about her, I waved it away as I ran to give her a consoling hug. Until that point, I still had no idea how horrible the accident was.
Not too long after that, Ski came out of the X-Ray room lying on a bed. Her leg was all wrapped up but the only thing I could do was stare at her. Looking at her face that just looked back at me as if I was about to give an answer to life’s greatest mystery. Sadly, all I could do was look. And then she spoke. The line that broke the silence and also my heart.
“I could see my bone. It’s so white… but it was very red too.”
xxxxx
It has been 3 years since that incident occurred. Ski took a long time to recover and came back to accompany us at the basketball court briefly but when something like that happens, no amount of dreaming or laughing can really bring things back to normal. We no longer play together nowadays. I because the game seems to have lost its appeal and she because of the injuries she suffered that morning. Bel is too busy to play these days and she rarely even keeps in touch with the rest of us.
Isn’t it strange that so long after everything has happened, I finally want to live forever. No, I want to play with my friends forever the game that I love the most. And when I do finally die, I want to be all used up. I want to not be able to move a single muscle because I’ve lived to my heart’s content and have nothing left in me. We go through life trying to find ourselves and our true friends but in truth, life isn’t about finding it. It’s about creating it. We found ourselves on that court under the clear blue sky so many years ago. But nobody told us we could lose what we found and so we let go and now it’s gone. So what’s left now is for us to create a future that nobody can steal from us. We have to create ourselves.
You see things; and you say, 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say, 'Why not?'
PS: I know this post would have been a lot better had I not deleted most of it but it was too hard for me to post such personal things here and I apologise.
I Do I Do
You know how my perfect and awesome brain always works and tinkers away at thoughts until finally I come up with very plausible (though unscientific nor useful) theories?
Well, I have a new one now! It's something that'll touch Farhan deeply and give an insight to what mankind has deemed a problem since the age of Caesar. Yes my dear audience, it started since the time when a knight stared into his shining shield and noticed the bald spot on his head.
This is a revolutionary theory about men's hair!
You know that theory by Einstein that about conservation of energy and how it cannot be made nor destroyed but merely transfered from one to another in the form of energy or mass?
Will, let's just say he made an incredible discovery without even realizing it as he stared into the mirror while contemplating how to comb his unruly hair. When men bald, where does all that hair go?
According to the law of conservation of energy, you can't destroy mass or energy, merely transfer it. So when you look at an aging male with a shining head, look closer and you'll know where the energy was transfered to. Look really really closely. Look at his ears and his nose and his arms and chest.
Lo and behold, the answer!
Why, when men get older, do they start getting hair growth in all the wrong places?
Had they always have these irregular growths but being young, chose to trim them for the sake of beauty? Or did these hair miraculous sprout up as the hair on top of their head reduced in number?
Well, you can't really blame the hair follicles for migrating because when you think about it, it's in their genes. Haven't it always been the innate nature to flee when the going gets tough?
Those hair up there probably woke up one day and thought "Hey, why should I work so hard under the sun when I can just up and leave?" and poof it goes.
Things have always been that way, haven't it? Going gets tough, the tough gets going.... and most of the men just sit at the sideline with beer cans on their beer bellies and shout "You go girl!".
So there you have it. My theory on why men get bald supported by the law of conservation of energy that says "Thou shat not be destroyed... but I won't stop thee from fleeing".
Thursday, October 18
In An Ideal World Kids Would Keep Their Rooms Tidy
I've had enough of the females are fairer sex weaker beings lower life form bullshit already. What's so bad about being a female?!?
Sure we have our biological faults like having periods and all things evil associated with it and also the misfortune of having to (under some circumstances) carry another being in our body for 9 horrible months but let us consider the other facts too.
Let's start of with the good part of being female.
Guys have to open the door for us. Well, at least the guys that place a head which contains a brain (will get to this later) on top of their neck. Regardless of how feminist and what not I am, I believe that guys SHOULD open the door for girls. And my feminist feelings notwithstanding, guys should NEVER hit girls either. Run and shame yourself if you ever come across a psychotic woman but NEVER hit them unless you're trying to protect someone.
Then we are allowed to shop till we drop without being called a sissy cause it's just what we're supposed to do, right? And then we can eat our hearts out when we're feeling blue cause that's just our coping mechanism! It's not like we want to but it's in our genes! And let's not forget being able to lash out at others once a month and shrug it off by blaming it on PMS.
Now here are the less glorious but still true parts. For starters, when we're peeing using the sitting type of toilet bowls, we can tie our shoe laces at the same time! Or any other work that requires the use of our hands. Really, I'm serious! I know it doesn't really cure cancer or AIDS but think about it, you're in the loo and suddenly you notice your tie is messed up. If you're a woman you just go "Oh, there you go." and fix it. But if you're a guy you to finish peeing, wash your hands and then only fix it! And if you don't wash your hands after you pee then I hope nobody ever.... EVER! touches anything you did.
What else... Oh, and here comes our luck for NOT being the other sex!
First of all, some mysterious part of our gene does not dictate that crushing beer cans on our forehead and farting (and burping) extremely loudly and laughing at our antics while sniffing the fart is what civilized people would do. I mean seriously, being able to do so many retarded things at the very same time is a feat worthy of admiration but is that really what millions and billions of years of evolution have led to? Is this really the epitome of the intelligent being?!
And secondly, we females don't feel the need to constantly reach downwards and check that our genitals are still in place because god forbid that it might have ran away while we were busy sniffing other people's fart while struggling to open beer cans. While I was in Bali, I went to a temple filled with monkeys and one of them was just sitting there all high and mighty with that laid-back air to itself and just watching the people pass by and scratching his balls! At that very moment, I couldn't for the life of me deny the similarities between that monkey and its supposedly more intelligent big brother!
While I'm still on the subject of genitals, let me also rejoice in the fact that females do not feel the need to give names to their private parts like "My Little Brother" or stuffs along that line.
Oh, and speaking of peeing just now. We also should be happy that we don't have to constantly put up the seat just to pee. And I really don't get this next part. How can they be such sharp shooters in everything ranging from arcade games to sports and other stuffs but suck so terribly when it comes to trying to pee at the right place! And I'm not even gonna mention the type of men who just simply pee by the road as if he was some stray dog!
But I guess they just suck when it comes to taking care of their Lil' Bro which is inevitably proven by how prone they're to "miss aim" and stick their member into the wrong hole which we civilized people would much rather call having an affair instead of "sowing their wild oats" or "proving their manliness" or crappy shit like that. If they had tails I'm sure 50% of the male population would walk with it between their legs for fear of us females realizing how weak they really are and finally decide we've had enough of their shit.
So, are you still sad of being a female even after so much persuasion?
Sure we have our biological faults like having periods and all things evil associated with it and also the misfortune of having to (under some circumstances) carry another being in our body for 9 horrible months but let us consider the other facts too.
Let's start of with the good part of being female.
Guys have to open the door for us. Well, at least the guys that place a head which contains a brain (will get to this later) on top of their neck. Regardless of how feminist and what not I am, I believe that guys SHOULD open the door for girls. And my feminist feelings notwithstanding, guys should NEVER hit girls either. Run and shame yourself if you ever come across a psychotic woman but NEVER hit them unless you're trying to protect someone.
Then we are allowed to shop till we drop without being called a sissy cause it's just what we're supposed to do, right? And then we can eat our hearts out when we're feeling blue cause that's just our coping mechanism! It's not like we want to but it's in our genes! And let's not forget being able to lash out at others once a month and shrug it off by blaming it on PMS.
Now here are the less glorious but still true parts. For starters, when we're peeing using the sitting type of toilet bowls, we can tie our shoe laces at the same time! Or any other work that requires the use of our hands. Really, I'm serious! I know it doesn't really cure cancer or AIDS but think about it, you're in the loo and suddenly you notice your tie is messed up. If you're a woman you just go "Oh, there you go." and fix it. But if you're a guy you to finish peeing, wash your hands and then only fix it! And if you don't wash your hands after you pee then I hope nobody ever.... EVER! touches anything you did.
What else... Oh, and here comes our luck for NOT being the other sex!
First of all, some mysterious part of our gene does not dictate that crushing beer cans on our forehead and farting (and burping) extremely loudly and laughing at our antics while sniffing the fart is what civilized people would do. I mean seriously, being able to do so many retarded things at the very same time is a feat worthy of admiration but is that really what millions and billions of years of evolution have led to? Is this really the epitome of the intelligent being?!
And secondly, we females don't feel the need to constantly reach downwards and check that our genitals are still in place because god forbid that it might have ran away while we were busy sniffing other people's fart while struggling to open beer cans. While I was in Bali, I went to a temple filled with monkeys and one of them was just sitting there all high and mighty with that laid-back air to itself and just watching the people pass by and scratching his balls! At that very moment, I couldn't for the life of me deny the similarities between that monkey and its supposedly more intelligent big brother!
While I'm still on the subject of genitals, let me also rejoice in the fact that females do not feel the need to give names to their private parts like "My Little Brother" or stuffs along that line.
Oh, and speaking of peeing just now. We also should be happy that we don't have to constantly put up the seat just to pee. And I really don't get this next part. How can they be such sharp shooters in everything ranging from arcade games to sports and other stuffs but suck so terribly when it comes to trying to pee at the right place! And I'm not even gonna mention the type of men who just simply pee by the road as if he was some stray dog!
But I guess they just suck when it comes to taking care of their Lil' Bro which is inevitably proven by how prone they're to "miss aim" and stick their member into the wrong hole which we civilized people would much rather call having an affair instead of "sowing their wild oats" or "proving their manliness" or crappy shit like that. If they had tails I'm sure 50% of the male population would walk with it between their legs for fear of us females realizing how weak they really are and finally decide we've had enough of their shit.
So, are you still sad of being a female even after so much persuasion?
Wednesday, October 10
My Country Is Dying
I guess I've been whining for no reason at all lately. My problems and dilemmas are nothing compared to the plight of my people.
They beg on the street and live in fear of anything associated to authority. They hate, despise, loath..... Basically any word that describes a negative feeling of intense degree can be used to depict their feeling towards those who wield power over the nation. I refuse to call those bastards a "government" because clearly, they're nothing more than cruel wardens who promoted themselves to take charge of a prison filled with innocent convicts. The only kinds of emotion they evoke in me are those of hate and anger.
Any effort to overthrow such cruelty is met with a titanium fist hell-bent on keeping the country on its knees. Any brave soul who dares to show resilience risk having his entire family wiped off the face of earth overnight. Those who speak out dare not show themselves for fear of the stories whispered among our own people. For decades, my people have suffered under such oppression of human rights and freedom to live. The country that they love is existing on life-support and the machine is failing. For all the sufferings my people have endured... The world watches and waits.
For years I had a favorable opinion of Bush and was for the War in Iraq as I thought he initiated it in a justifiable effort to maintain peace. He invaded and took over such a violent and dangerous region with the force and power his country holds and I thought him to be a saint. But now I see they were right. He was really just after the petroleum. Anybody who was so concerned over world peace would not stand by with their arms crossed when they have the power to save my country with the snap of their fingers.
Burma is dying, and he looks.
It seems that in his world, the only fault my country ever did is to not produce the all valuable black gold. So monks get beaten up, disrobed and insulted to the highest degree as a consequence of the greed of the rest of the world. Protesters who only wish to love their country are shot down like crooks or animals, shipped away on trucks in the dead of night to be slaughtered after hours of torture. Those who escaped are welcomed by poverty and a serious absence of life's necessities. They don't face a shortage. They simply do not have any of it.
My heart aches as I watch the symbols of faith that I respect and honor used by the real villains as doormats but all I can do is keep on watching. I regret not being in a position which allows me to do something about this situation but I regret even more the people who can make all this turn around but refuse to do so. I love the monks and I love my religion, our religion. Their religion. Knowing that Burma is a Buddhist country, I can hardly believe what I see as I know those people wiping their feet on the monks' robes are Buddhists themselves. I don't normally curse people but I sure as hell don't wish those bastards well.
Politics and negotiations don't work in the land called Burma. The only thing the military bows to is stronger weapons. So the UN should just stopped sending envoys over and start making plans to take my country by storm if they're really sincere about wanting to help. All other effort is just for show and they know it too. They're just trying to trick the fortunate citizens of the world who aren't aware of the atrocities in Burma.
Every single one of you who reads this won't understand how this feels and you must all think I'm being a drama queen. But I do feel all the hate flow through me as every time I hear those monsters mentioned. None of you will understand what it feels like to not have a country, and identity. I don't live there nor was I born or raised there but that is the only place that will call me its own. That's my motherland.
They beg on the street and live in fear of anything associated to authority. They hate, despise, loath..... Basically any word that describes a negative feeling of intense degree can be used to depict their feeling towards those who wield power over the nation. I refuse to call those bastards a "government" because clearly, they're nothing more than cruel wardens who promoted themselves to take charge of a prison filled with innocent convicts. The only kinds of emotion they evoke in me are those of hate and anger.
Any effort to overthrow such cruelty is met with a titanium fist hell-bent on keeping the country on its knees. Any brave soul who dares to show resilience risk having his entire family wiped off the face of earth overnight. Those who speak out dare not show themselves for fear of the stories whispered among our own people. For decades, my people have suffered under such oppression of human rights and freedom to live. The country that they love is existing on life-support and the machine is failing. For all the sufferings my people have endured... The world watches and waits.
For years I had a favorable opinion of Bush and was for the War in Iraq as I thought he initiated it in a justifiable effort to maintain peace. He invaded and took over such a violent and dangerous region with the force and power his country holds and I thought him to be a saint. But now I see they were right. He was really just after the petroleum. Anybody who was so concerned over world peace would not stand by with their arms crossed when they have the power to save my country with the snap of their fingers.
Burma is dying, and he looks.
It seems that in his world, the only fault my country ever did is to not produce the all valuable black gold. So monks get beaten up, disrobed and insulted to the highest degree as a consequence of the greed of the rest of the world. Protesters who only wish to love their country are shot down like crooks or animals, shipped away on trucks in the dead of night to be slaughtered after hours of torture. Those who escaped are welcomed by poverty and a serious absence of life's necessities. They don't face a shortage. They simply do not have any of it.
My heart aches as I watch the symbols of faith that I respect and honor used by the real villains as doormats but all I can do is keep on watching. I regret not being in a position which allows me to do something about this situation but I regret even more the people who can make all this turn around but refuse to do so. I love the monks and I love my religion, our religion. Their religion. Knowing that Burma is a Buddhist country, I can hardly believe what I see as I know those people wiping their feet on the monks' robes are Buddhists themselves. I don't normally curse people but I sure as hell don't wish those bastards well.
Politics and negotiations don't work in the land called Burma. The only thing the military bows to is stronger weapons. So the UN should just stopped sending envoys over and start making plans to take my country by storm if they're really sincere about wanting to help. All other effort is just for show and they know it too. They're just trying to trick the fortunate citizens of the world who aren't aware of the atrocities in Burma.
Every single one of you who reads this won't understand how this feels and you must all think I'm being a drama queen. But I do feel all the hate flow through me as every time I hear those monsters mentioned. None of you will understand what it feels like to not have a country, and identity. I don't live there nor was I born or raised there but that is the only place that will call me its own. That's my motherland.
Rock Yourself To Sleep
Kids do a lot of things to get some attention and unfortunately, they normally do really stupid stuffs. And then sometimes there are those people who are just so pathetic that they resort to unforgivable measures to get people as pathetic as them to give 'em a second glance. I guess it all boils down to your level of patheticness and maturity.
We should learn to sympathize with 'em.
Some people like to throw insults and unjustified remarks at others hoping it will stick. Rumors full of slander emerge as a result of their own incapability to get others to look at them for the right reasons.
On the other hand, they are others who resort to self-mutilation and other sorts of self-abuses. Say what you want about me but I seriously like this type a lot better. At least it has nothing to do with me. Besides, if they really do get physical injuries than it very beneficial to my future profession. I'm glad nobody has decided to ban inhumane people from applying to study medicine. But really, I ain't really that bad.
It's just a matter of opinion. In MY opinion (which is the subject we're discussing in this blog), I think this planet is suffering from a serious overpopulation of the human race and hence any effort to reduce the bottom rung on the ladder of the gene pool is an effort worthy to be considered for a peace prize. Of course, you'll only be nominated if you actually succeed.
We all know any species that try to compete for anything with us Homo sapiens are just looking for trouble and risking their existence on this planet. To most people, proving the human being's superiority over other species seems to be their raison d'etre and they couldn't really care less if others have to suffer for this. It's just stupid.
I think a penguin or a puppy has 100 times more reason to live than a junkie who goes around begging for food and money during daytime and go get high or rape kids during the night. And people who could do horrible things such as the monstrosity done towards Nurin are the perfect ingredient to be used for pig feed. Seriously, just grind 'em up and feed 'em to the dogs. Why else would the almighty (nonexistent) being sitting up there in the clouds send 'em to Earth?
Fuck 'em all.
Oh, and unfortunately, I wasn't really going through a period of "down"ness when I wrote the previous article. I was just giving a piece of my mind because that's how I feel. I feel like this most of the time so I doubt we can call it a "moment". It's more like a chronic disease. Well, at least I'm not dying from it.
Come to think about it. Maybe I'd feel better if I was actually DYING from it. Ironic.
I bet by the time I graduate, I'll already be asking myself when I stopped laughing like an idiot and started becoming an idiot.
Piece of advice to anybody who would care for one: Be rich and successful.
The way I see things, the people who hate you will hate you regardless but at least that way, they can only HATE you but wouldn't have the resource or the authority to do anything about it. And who said money didn't rule the world?
The devil in my pocket turned to god.
We should learn to sympathize with 'em.
Some people like to throw insults and unjustified remarks at others hoping it will stick. Rumors full of slander emerge as a result of their own incapability to get others to look at them for the right reasons.
On the other hand, they are others who resort to self-mutilation and other sorts of self-abuses. Say what you want about me but I seriously like this type a lot better. At least it has nothing to do with me. Besides, if they really do get physical injuries than it very beneficial to my future profession. I'm glad nobody has decided to ban inhumane people from applying to study medicine. But really, I ain't really that bad.
It's just a matter of opinion. In MY opinion (which is the subject we're discussing in this blog), I think this planet is suffering from a serious overpopulation of the human race and hence any effort to reduce the bottom rung on the ladder of the gene pool is an effort worthy to be considered for a peace prize. Of course, you'll only be nominated if you actually succeed.
We all know any species that try to compete for anything with us Homo sapiens are just looking for trouble and risking their existence on this planet. To most people, proving the human being's superiority over other species seems to be their raison d'etre and they couldn't really care less if others have to suffer for this. It's just stupid.
I think a penguin or a puppy has 100 times more reason to live than a junkie who goes around begging for food and money during daytime and go get high or rape kids during the night. And people who could do horrible things such as the monstrosity done towards Nurin are the perfect ingredient to be used for pig feed. Seriously, just grind 'em up and feed 'em to the dogs. Why else would the almighty (nonexistent) being sitting up there in the clouds send 'em to Earth?
Fuck 'em all.
Oh, and unfortunately, I wasn't really going through a period of "down"ness when I wrote the previous article. I was just giving a piece of my mind because that's how I feel. I feel like this most of the time so I doubt we can call it a "moment". It's more like a chronic disease. Well, at least I'm not dying from it.
Come to think about it. Maybe I'd feel better if I was actually DYING from it. Ironic.
I bet by the time I graduate, I'll already be asking myself when I stopped laughing like an idiot and started becoming an idiot.
Piece of advice to anybody who would care for one: Be rich and successful.
The way I see things, the people who hate you will hate you regardless but at least that way, they can only HATE you but wouldn't have the resource or the authority to do anything about it. And who said money didn't rule the world?
The devil in my pocket turned to god.
Sunday, October 7
How Long Do You Wanna Be Loved?
I just realised something really profound! Do you get how much longer I have to live before I die?! Heck! We aren't supposed to die until we're 70 or something!
What the heck am I supposed to do with all this time? Call me an ass for not appreciating this life when kids around me are dropping dead by the minute but seriously, forever just ain't my style. It's just depressing! And they wonder why people get suicidal!
A generation is measured by 25 years each and on average, we're supposed to be able to live to play with our grandchildren, right? I'm not even over my generation yet and believe me, I feel like I've lived enough. So that means I have one fifth of my generation and another 2 more generations to go. Are you getting the numbers?
Can you hear me?
That's another 55 years. What can we possibly do to fill in all that time? How can anybody possibly say we just don't live long enough??! What else do you have to do?!
We live long enough. In fact, we live too long. It's the youth that doesn't last long enough. Look at me, I'm not even past my generation and yet I'm waiting for my death like some invalid lying on a bed underneath the dark gray sky. This is so wrong.
Evolution is ever evolving. Duh, it's called evolution for a reason! So maybe we aren't perfect yet. Maybe we will better ourselves to stop living so long. When are we ever gonna sleep our last? Maybe I should be a rock star or something cause according to some survey, I should die around 30+ that way, which, to me, is the right age to die.
To all of you out there dreading eternal damnation or waiting to living infinitely in Heaven with 99 virgins around you: Wake up!
One thing's for sure, that's not my cup of milk. So take your heaven and hell and go through those big pearly gates as you please but please just leave my mortal soul alone. Just like Death Cab For Cutie sang,
If heaven and hell decide that they both are satisfied;
Illuminate the "No"s on their Vacancy signs.
So here I sit. Depressed and darker than ever, counting down the days till I die.
Take me by the hand and tell me you would take me anywhere.
What the heck am I supposed to do with all this time? Call me an ass for not appreciating this life when kids around me are dropping dead by the minute but seriously, forever just ain't my style. It's just depressing! And they wonder why people get suicidal!
A generation is measured by 25 years each and on average, we're supposed to be able to live to play with our grandchildren, right? I'm not even over my generation yet and believe me, I feel like I've lived enough. So that means I have one fifth of my generation and another 2 more generations to go. Are you getting the numbers?
Can you hear me?
That's another 55 years. What can we possibly do to fill in all that time? How can anybody possibly say we just don't live long enough??! What else do you have to do?!
We live long enough. In fact, we live too long. It's the youth that doesn't last long enough. Look at me, I'm not even past my generation and yet I'm waiting for my death like some invalid lying on a bed underneath the dark gray sky. This is so wrong.
Evolution is ever evolving. Duh, it's called evolution for a reason! So maybe we aren't perfect yet. Maybe we will better ourselves to stop living so long. When are we ever gonna sleep our last? Maybe I should be a rock star or something cause according to some survey, I should die around 30+ that way, which, to me, is the right age to die.
To all of you out there dreading eternal damnation or waiting to living infinitely in Heaven with 99 virgins around you: Wake up!
One thing's for sure, that's not my cup of milk. So take your heaven and hell and go through those big pearly gates as you please but please just leave my mortal soul alone. Just like Death Cab For Cutie sang,
If heaven and hell decide that they both are satisfied;
Illuminate the "No"s on their Vacancy signs.
So here I sit. Depressed and darker than ever, counting down the days till I die.
Take me by the hand and tell me you would take me anywhere.
Wednesday, October 3
Forget Your Sorrows
Today I was mobbed by a group of 3 year olds. Literally!
First one boy called Elwin decided to be cute and come sit on my lap (we were all sitting on the floor) and when another girl saw this she just thought "Oh, this must be the cue to get on stage." and pushed Elwin aside and sat on my lap too. Of course, being 3 years old and all, nobody really taught Elwin the meaning of the word "gentleman" and besides, I was closer to him because I often accompany him while he waits for his mommy and so, he made a ruckus about it which attracted the attention of the remaining students.
It's not everyday kids get to sit on a teacher's lap so you can probably guess what happened next.
Of course, despite all my excess flesh and "insulation", there really isn't any space for ALL of them to sit so some kids started getting fresh and climbed on my back!
And so the back was occupied too but there was still one kid remaining and introducing the genius -- he clings to my arms like a monkey.
A little later the 4 year old kids came down and a few of them who I often play with saw all of this and that's probably when all hell broke lose.
Soon I was sitting one second then lying on the floor the other with 5 kids on top of me. And the next I would be rolled over and played with like a doll! They were practically hanging on to my hair for crying out loud.
Then some of them wanted me to tickle them and play with them so not only was I being treated as a doormat, I even had legs and arms being shoved into my face so that I would take notice and start tickling them! The audacity of them all!
Me being me, I didn't have the power to reject nor the strength to scold so there I sat being toyed with by kids who don't even reach my waist. Fortunately, salvation came in the form of another mean looking teacher with a wooden ruler in her hand.
But seriously, even I get creep-ed out by the Mean One. They should stop treating kids as punching bags of anger-venting-dolls!
First one boy called Elwin decided to be cute and come sit on my lap (we were all sitting on the floor) and when another girl saw this she just thought "Oh, this must be the cue to get on stage." and pushed Elwin aside and sat on my lap too. Of course, being 3 years old and all, nobody really taught Elwin the meaning of the word "gentleman" and besides, I was closer to him because I often accompany him while he waits for his mommy and so, he made a ruckus about it which attracted the attention of the remaining students.
It's not everyday kids get to sit on a teacher's lap so you can probably guess what happened next.
Of course, despite all my excess flesh and "insulation", there really isn't any space for ALL of them to sit so some kids started getting fresh and climbed on my back!
And so the back was occupied too but there was still one kid remaining and introducing the genius -- he clings to my arms like a monkey.
A little later the 4 year old kids came down and a few of them who I often play with saw all of this and that's probably when all hell broke lose.
Soon I was sitting one second then lying on the floor the other with 5 kids on top of me. And the next I would be rolled over and played with like a doll! They were practically hanging on to my hair for crying out loud.
Then some of them wanted me to tickle them and play with them so not only was I being treated as a doormat, I even had legs and arms being shoved into my face so that I would take notice and start tickling them! The audacity of them all!
Me being me, I didn't have the power to reject nor the strength to scold so there I sat being toyed with by kids who don't even reach my waist. Fortunately, salvation came in the form of another mean looking teacher with a wooden ruler in her hand.
But seriously, even I get creep-ed out by the Mean One. They should stop treating kids as punching bags of anger-venting-dolls!
Tuesday, October 2
Sometimes you sail through life without a storm cloud in sight and suddenly an ice-berg comes out of no where and sinks you like lead. All the time you've been keeping your eyes on the storm and preparing for it and it never happens but instead, you sink over an idiotic piece of ice! Just imagine how Titanic must have felt.
Sometimes you have these debilitating (mental) diseases and it all seems to have been cured and passed but suddenly you start seeing the signs and symptoms creep up on you like the shadow from Shakespeare's "Life's Brief Candle". You kick it 3 times in the shin and stomped on it and think "Well, that's the end of it." but no, it all comes back to haunt you.
Try as you might to keep the obvious harm out of your face, the even more obvious ones that we never care to notice often knock the wind out of you. Ironic.
Note to self: Don't go anywhere near Tao for the next one of two years.
And all his yesterdays have lighted fools,
Away to dusty death.
Sometimes you have these debilitating (mental) diseases and it all seems to have been cured and passed but suddenly you start seeing the signs and symptoms creep up on you like the shadow from Shakespeare's "Life's Brief Candle". You kick it 3 times in the shin and stomped on it and think "Well, that's the end of it." but no, it all comes back to haunt you.
Try as you might to keep the obvious harm out of your face, the even more obvious ones that we never care to notice often knock the wind out of you. Ironic.
Note to self: Don't go anywhere near Tao for the next one of two years.
And all his yesterdays have lighted fools,
Away to dusty death.
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