The Terror With Which You Whisper His Name

This year being a Visit Malaysia year, a lot of people are focusing on making this country foreigner-friendly and it's all for a good cause but those that mean we can neglect the plight to make it resident-friendly?
No. Such a scenario is not to be tolerated.
I've recently told you about my (lovely) X-Trail being violated by scums. But before that, there was another incident of break-in that happened right next door. My neighbours' house was broken in but fortunately, the scums only got the "breaking" part of the deed done, they could not "enter" due to the blaring alarm which probably made them run for their balls. This is not to say that what happened was something to rejoice for as my neighbours had to pour out a couple of G's just to repair the damage done to their doors which were exceptionally well cut through. The perpetrators obviously used heavy-duty tools to be able to cut down the thick grills with such ease.
And before that still, there were other incidents of cars park at the front of their respective houses being broken in and in some cases, stolen.
Very recently, another monstrosity took place to one of my friend who lives nearby too.
While she was getting out of her car from the front porch, a man wearing a jacket and helmet appeared out of no where and snatch the bag right out of her hand and made a run for it. My friend, being as brave as she is, gave chase and caught up to him just as he was getting on his bike and she hit him and attempted to overturn his bike by kicking it but before she could get to the second part of her assault, the intruder smacked her on the forehead and kicked her down. Of course, he successfully escaped.
The point is, what is happening to this area? And even worse, this country?
Look at all the people being blown up by C4 and rammed down by cars on purpose. And then count the number of people being raped and our innocent countrymen (or women) falling prey to snatch thieves everyday. I've never bothered to do a survey but I'm sure if we did count all the incidences of assault on innocent people in this country, it will probably tally with the amount of corruption happening within our ministry and police force!
They take bribes, the GIVE bribes. They don't do their jobs properly and eat off our hard earned tax money. Isn't it time somebody with an ambition kicked these bastards in the groin and say "This is the end of the line."?!
Just look at how stupid they are. They other day, they forked up 5 mill to pay for counterfeit parts and believe you me, there's no way the top officials didn't know what they were buying. They probably pocketed a few millions themselves and are right now feeling sorry not for doing such a shameful act, but for being caught doing it. But then again, they'll probably give half of their bounty to whoever are investigating on their tails and the accusers will just shut up and we'll hear nothing of this case again.
It's a shame that just because we're ignorant of such cases, it doesn't mean they aren't taking place right under our noses.

Paid In Full With A Glass of Milk

Nobody wanna see us together
But it don't matter no
Cause I got you babe
Cause we gon' fight
Oh yes we gon' fight (We gon' fight)
Believe we gon' fight (We gon' fight)
Fight for our right to love yeah

Don't ask why but the lyrics are stuck in my head. Doesn't it annoy you when something like that happens?! Well, the best cure to it is to listen to another crappy song and "poof" goes the previous crappy song, to be replaced by the next even crappier song. Ah~ the cruel cycle of life.
I guess even songs must live in their own rules of the jungle, the survival of the fittest bla bla bla.
While we're talking bout songs, have you heard 4 In The Morning by Gwen Stefani? It rocks!!
Hehe.
Anyway, last night Slur and I were discussing bout money and overpaid celebrities and crap like that and in case you're wondering who the overpaid celeb is, it's all of them. I mean why the hell are they getting paid millions to do movies when those producers can just cut the cost and pay 'em less AND charge less from us to watch it! I call this a bunch of bolognese, and no I don't mean bolognese sauce.
Anyway, have any of you heard of Gisele Bundchen? Well, Slur was enlightened bout her existence last night... I think it's last night cause she thats when she started ranting about her but thats not the point. The point is the names Tyra Banks and Kate Moss and even AJ Stewart from America's Next Top Model are more familiar to us when we think about models and yet that Bundchen woman is the top earning model! Kate Moss is 2nd and pulls in a whooping 9 mill a year or something...
Guess how much Bundchen does?
33 mill.
Yes.... For those of you running for your calculators, that's more than 3 times the amount Moss earns. And the worst part is, Kate Moss even has her own brand of clothing!
I first heard of this name when I was watching Top 20 Richest Women In Entertainment and they were like uh.... Christina Aguilera and Ellen DeGeneres and then there was Gisele (who??) at number 16! Which is above both the names I just mentioned.... I mean Christina the hottest babe who can actually hold a tune with millions of fans and records everywhere and she's below this Bunny I've never even heard of until that moment!
Bolognese!
And then I watched further and I was struck by another shocking truth!
J.Lo and Mariah Carey are 38 f-ing years old!
What the hell?! What has come of this world?!!
I mean seriously, I was thinking they're like 25 or something and for those of you who're saying "Come on, you were off by just 13 years~" well come on your own head cause even 29.5 and 30 years old makes a world of difference... 25 and 38 is just off the charts.
But that wasn't the end of the shocking truths... No, life is never so kind now is it?
Then we moved further up the list and guess who's there? Britney! Well, at least she really is 25 years old.
Oh, in case you guys are wondering, no, Britney is NOT above Mariah. Come on lah, Mariah outsold The Beatles! I was saying moving further up from Bundchen.
Then we moved a little higher up from Britney and what the hell?!
Mary Kate and Ashley are in the top 10! And they're exactly ONE FREAKING YEAR older than me. ONE YEAR!!!
I can work and huff and puff for the rest of my life and I would never in this world earn what they have NOW and they're only one year away from where I am in life right now!
That's just a bunch of bolognese if you ask me.
No, this is beyond bolognese. This is like sirloin steak or something!
How could that be?
And these people have like 100 or 200 mills each and I was like wow.... Then we reached number 2 and I went berserk. It was too much to bear...
JK Rowling who was living off welfare when we were still in primary school. Yes, that's HER on the list and that's her at number 2! With a F-ing 1 billion dollars! What happened to welfare and all that crap?! She's got ONE F-ING BILLION! And one billion is a loooooooot.
Then the list moved one last step and that was when I stopped watching (partly cause it was already the end of the show). There stood Oprah Winfrey all high and mighty on her number one podium. Guess how much she has? 1.5 billion. And at first I was like "Oh, haha. Just .5 more that Rowling ma~" and then it hit me.
That ".5" is actually worth 500 million!!
And most people on that list up till around number 5 had less than 500 million!!!!
What the heck?!
Peppercorn and sesame seeds! This is what this is!

Kick Me I'm An Idiot

I promised myself I'd announce that Slur is getting a job to you guys in my previous post but somehow I forgot.. The consequences of hanging around her too often I guess.
But anyway, yeah, she's working! I don't know as a what and don't really know at where but in general, she is now an office lady working in the bank!
Mid-post PS: Slur, it wouldn't hurt to enlighten me more on this issue.
So, as I was telling Mae. Probably 3 days from now, give or take a week, a down on his luck guy whose wife just left him for a really good-looking playboy will go to the ATM to check his bank account and think he somehow miraculously won the lottery whereas the playboy / wife-stealer will be informed that he is now broke as all his savings miraculously disappeared.
Upon hearing this, some would say karma. As for me, I would say, "Karma? What karma? It's Slur working in a bank!"
So beware my dear audience, and guard your bank accounts.... with your life!

Misery Loves Company

Good things come to those who wait? Yeah, right. In a dreamland called "Doesn't-Exist" it may but in real life, it rarely comes through.
Just think about it. How many of you have sat in your car waiting for the lights to change, or lie on your bed waiting for sleep to come and have nothing, nothing at all, happen to you? I mean, you're waiting, right? Does something good happen? NO! Does something bad happen? More likely.
Who knows, you might just get rammed in the ass by some newb driver who doesn't know the difference between the right and middle paddle.
Or maybe you'll be staring up at your ceiling and some Mr. Know-It-All lizard will poop right above your face.
In my opinion, and by golly it ain't a tad bit humble at all, the above scenarios have a higher probability of occurring than a winning lottery ticket mysteriously flying into your hands as you wait for the bus.
The other day, we speculate it to be a Friday, I was waiting... OK, not me. I wasn't even there for god's sake. So, my car was waiting, parked safely in my front lawn, for my family's return from KL and it was doing nothing at all. Nothing. You know, it was just chilling and waiting and hoping and wishing and no I'm not going to sing.
Yeah, so it was waiting safe within the perimeters of my house and when we came back on Sunday, guess what happened to the waiting car?
I can assure you it's definitely not something good.
Some idiot robber or what ever you call those people smashed open the rear car window, went in and dismantled the CD player and the dashboard along with it. Oh, and he (probably a he cause only scumbags would do this) left lots of scars on the car cause by what ever thing he was using to pry out the dashboard! And now, my beautiful X-Trail is in the workshop and will remain there for quite some time as we have to restore it to it's former galore.
All this trouble for probably a 100 ringgit or something. And we had to go through the trouble of making a police report!
I mean the police report was no trouble, what I meant was the having to drive there when I could have been watching Ellen DeGeneres at home part. In fact, contrary to popular Chinese belief, making a police report is no hassle at all!
All those Chinese aunties were going around telling my mom that she shouldn't bother to make a report when those Malays will just give them trouble because we (and those aunties) aren't the same race and I tell them and everyone else right here and right now that that is a bunch of bullshit. BULLSHIT!!
Not only were they kind and considerate of my limited knowledge of the Malay language, they had the whole thing done in less than one hour. Which is quite good considering they had to type the report, take our statements, check the car condition and take pictures of it. They were even gonna try to check for fingerprints but I told them all 3 members of my family and my neighbours have defiled the "crime scene" with our hands so they didn't anymore but I mean that's an initiative, right?
So take all your racial discriminations and all your my-race-is-better-than-yours attitude and shove it up yours cause the only people making such sensitive issues exist are the people who try to avoid it by not interacting with others! I admit I was naive enough to not be open minded about such differences before but luckily, I've been enlightened during the 18 months I spent in college.

The Hardest To Learn Was The Least Complicated

As we grow up, I'm sure all the moms and dads out there tell their kids to be honest and nice, hence the infamous saying, "My mommy says we aren't supposed to tell lies."
Aww, ain't she cute! Haha. But well, there's another saying we learn as we get a little older and it goes, "Little white lies never killed anyone."
Why didn't anybody tell me the things you learn when you're older are the real truths and thou shalt not be a big idiot who blows everything by being too honest. Seriously, which idiot blurts out the honest truth every single time she's faced with a situation when a little lie will help everybody!
The answer is ME, in case you were seriously wondering.
The first time I was faced (and noticed) with this situation was during the IELTS speaking test, and the interviewer / invigilator / I-dunno-who said, "Tell me about a letter you received recently."
To which I replied, "I don't receive letters."
Yes, smart. This idiotic move was followed with nearly 2 minutes of silence where we sat staring at each other. Which was really wrong because she wasn't even close to pretty! Way too much make up on. But then again, without all that junk on her face she might have to reveal that she has tons of wrinkles on her face.
I guess she was in denial... And no, I am so not bitter over it.
Oh, yeah. I got a 7 out of 9 for that section which is not good. Not good at all. Damn woman.
So, the same situation happened again today. I was at an interview for the medic program at Monash and you know how all of these things go. You sit down bla bla bla and the inevitable "So, why do you wanna be a doctor?"
To which I, again, foolishly replied, "Cause I was brought up being told I should be one and that's probably the only thing I could imagine myself doing. Oh, and I guess the money is good."
Which are absolute truths. Seriously, up until like a month ago, I had no idea I actually had a choice on whether or not I wanted to be a doctor. But that's not really the point is it?
The point is I probably most definitely totally screwed up an otherwise perfectly half-screwed interview. Ironically, the interviewer was again a woman.
Damn.

Chicken Rice And More!

Very recently - like yesterday - I wrote a bulletin on Friendster complaining about idiots abusing the bulletin's purpose inappropriately. The main reason I wrote it was because I kept reading bulletins - don't ask me why I recognize the stupidity of it yet keep going back for more - by this girl I can't really remember her name and I just thought they're all really really dumb. Like seriously. So I thought it's time I took action, and I did. See? Put your thoughts to action. It might actually bring you something good, and it did!
You can read the bulletin I wrote here:
Original: Opposite of Smart
Anyway, why do I say it DID bring me some good? I think it just boosted my popularity by 0.00001% or something. Here is what someone wrote back:
yeah i m totally standing on ur side...
u reli r our idol...
no matter in bkb o wat else..
u reli rox..
kip rockin..
stay cool oways...
n those hu lik 2 gain 1000 fren in their acc bt nt kipin in touch n nt reli a fren tat can pour out ur problem r kindda idiotic...
those r jz lik flower vase..beautiful bt useless...
Which is all good and everything. But there is just one very big problem that probably prompted Alanis Morissette into singing the song "Ironic". The person who reposted the above bulletin is no other than the person who inspired me to write it. The person who was doing all the things that I just said was stupid to do.
Ahh~ stupidity. You just have to love it.
I tried going hiking at Kerachut yesterday morning but it didn't go so well. Actually, it didn't go at all. Cause for some unexplainable reason the gods of above decided to take a shower after like a month of smothering us in haze. Since it rained and two princesses (read Mae and PF) were too royal and majestic to have a speck of mud befall them, we canceled it and instead, the rest of the guys and I ended up walking around Queens with me and MS in our "outdoor activity" attire.
Right now you must be wondering why it's just the two of us dressed like so. Well, apparently, in the encyclopedias of Fung, YP and Ken, "attire for hiking" equals to fashionable board shorts or short jeans and 100 dollar shirts with brand names like Billabong.
In case I haven't bragged this fact enough yet, allow me the pleasure of doing so once more.
Ladies and gentleman, I have a new job! I'm working as a tuition teacher for Primary 3 kids at a kindergarten / daycare center nearby. The pay is great! Cause basically I have to teach these kids 2 hour long tuitions, twice a day five days a week. That probably adds up to like 80 hours a month for 600. Don't you just love it? But my actual work time spans longer cause after the morning classes I stay back to chat with the cute-beyond-description kids who are just so innocent! No wonder there are pedophiles out there! Not that this justifies their action. In fact, this makes me hate them even more for causing harm to such precious treasures of life.
Don't get me wrong, I still hate kids. I just love them when they're so cute.
And of course, since I have to teach them Chinese and Malay - let's face it, I didn't get a C in Chinese for no reason and anybody who gave me an A for Malay must be extremely retarded - so I spend a lot more time flipping through dictionaries and calling up people to ask them about work.
Yes, I have graduated from A-Levels which is college level but I have trouble teaching these kids Chinese and Malay. The principal of Chung Ling Butterworth will probably commit suicide if he found out I have been teaching these kids numerously wrong words, pronunciations and phrases all week long. And I seriously have been teaching them the wrong stuff. This I am sure of cause I always check back with my friends every 2 or 3 days about what I've taught them and they always, ALWAYS, end up laughing their belly out and frowning at me all in one go.
Such disgrace.
Haha. Here's a funny story from one of my kids. This girl named Joanne, she's the Slur type of kid only with less cheapness and like an IQ that's 100 points lower - which makes her do cute stuffs even more! Anyway, one Thursday, she missed class so I got worried and went to ask about her and here's what the other teachers told me.
"Oh Joanne a? Haha, she won't make it today! Apparently, while at school, she was helping a teacher to find a friend and when she turned a corner, she ran straight into some metal thing hanging on the wall and fell down and THEN smacked her head on some chair. So she fainted and has been admitted to some hospital."
To this, everyone in the room laughed in a deafening roar. Seriously, how slur do you have to get to FAINT at school for a reason like that?! Feel free to laugh at her, cause she really is cute in that aspect. But of course, with all due respect, she is a very obedient kid who listens to everything teachers say as best as she can.
Oh wait, before that Slur goes all high and mighty and starts complaining why the title has nothing to do with the content, let me explain something briefly. I thought of this title cause I kept thinking to myself "What to write? What to write? Chicken rice~ Chicken rice~."
Ah well, being a hamster that she is, she'll probably say that's a crappy explanation, I might as well add something to make it relevant. Do you know that Traders Hotel Kuala Lumpur is offering a package of chicken rice in Ipoh for two at the very small price of over one thousand US dollars? Only idiots will actually fall for that trick! Chicken rice for two that cost like RM7000!
Price of local chicken rice: RM5.00
Price of offered by Traders: USD 1800+
Price of seeing foreigners being conned: Priceless