Random Ramblings

To quote Jess, "If I had nuts, I'd be bored out of my nuts right now."
Seriously, who could have predicted that my life would turn out like this? Ask me how I spent my weekend. Ask me! Ask me!
OK, first I slept till 10am. Then I woke up and ate a breakfast that could feed the whole of Africa for a month. Then I... I.... I sat in front of the computer, changed the position of my chair a couple of times, went down to lunch when it was time, went to sleep for a while after straining my eyes too much staring at the computer and now I'm back in front of it again.
No wonder they say youth is wasted on the young. At least Mae is rotting at home for good reason but I'm a studying college student! Shouldn't my life be filled with more colour and adventure than this?
Oh, and just to inform how poor I am to you guys. A while ago I thought of going for a few spins on the bicycle only to realize I DON'T FREAKING HAVE A BICYCLE!!!! Gosh, that really pisses me off. During the time it took for me to realize I don't have a bike and come back to nestle in front of this flat thingy that's emitting some kinda strange light that have a peculiar hypnotic effect, I decided I have to do something with my life. Erm, fine. Maybe not something as monumental as "change my life" but at least a small little change that will hopefully make me weigh less than an elephant (Yes, I'm fat).
You must be asking if I'm going to do something then why the hell am I still typing this thing right? Well, one of the things I'm going to do is improve my writing skills, so here I am, already starting my quest. So, I don't really know how to improve my writing skills because honestly, I've been writing countless blogs and essays for a long time and it seems like my writing ability is still comparable to a 3-year-old's. The smart thing to do would be, of course, to take up some writing course of some sort. But this being Penang, the last couple of years, I've searched in vain for any place that offers creative writing courses. As for going to British Council and finally start my first ever official English course, well.... I'm sorry but I don't think the price they ask for is quite worth what they teach. Especially cause they'll probably dump me into some class filled with 30-year-olds. Oh, for your info, my grammar sucks to a point where you would rather puke to death than hear me try to get it right. Till date, the few grammatical terms that I can get right are "past /present /future tense", "noun" and "verb". I have no freaking idea what a "perfect tense" is or what all the other funky things mean. Erm, by the way, I learnt the meaning of "noun" and "verb" towards the end of my high school years.
That being said, I should move on to the next way of changing my lifestyle, which would of course be to make it more active. I've always wanted to be a volunteer for some cause that I believe in like a women's right activist or maybe a volunteer at the SPCA. Again, this being Penang, I don't think the first option is available even if I was 40 years old and the second option would require me to once again commute to the island side in addition to the 5 days per week that I'm already traveling. Completely out of the question. So the other thought was to help out at the Buddhist monastery (yes, in comparison with the youth of today, you can count me as fairly religious), then I remembered that the monastery my family always frequents is situated in Lunas. Good luck with the traveling problem my dear. Being a volunteer at a hospital won't be too bad, right? Think again. The hospital near my house is totally out of the question because my father works there. So how bout other hospitals like the one in Seberang Jaya? I heard from a friend who had an ambition like mine that that certain hospital doesn't accept volunteers or something. All other options would again require me to swim across the ocean separating the island from the mainland. That means that all my hopes of doing some humanitarian work has either been thrown out of the window or trampled upon by a stampede of jellyfishs that keep getting minced to death by the ferries.
Oh, what other way to stay active than doing sports, right? Talk about sports and I get as restless as an ant on fire and my happiness level sky-rockets plus I get all these cool ideas about stuffs to do and things that might happen. Then a Godzilla named mom has to appear and beat all my hopes and dreams to pulp.
First of all, I don't know which part of the fish that seems to be swimming around in her skull gave her this idea but my mom seems to think that my bad results are totally to be blamed on my participation in sports. For all of you trying to support her, NO! The only reason I get bad grades is because (I'm being awfully honest here) I'm too lazy to be bothered by something as trivial as studying. Did I just say studying is useless? Well, it's not entirely useless but at least I don't see any point in having a test every single month or worse, sending our parents a monthly report (like its name sake) every month. I actually consider this as a waste of stamps and paper (used to print the report on and to make the envelope). This all amounts to my mom replying "no" faster than it would have taken her to give up on doing Sudoku when I gave her my idea of taking up a new activity, and believe me, my mom can give up on doing Sudoku as fast as it would take Eugene to eat a single cream puff.
Fortunately, my dad is a lot more open-minded than my mom, but I don't actually blame her because that fish in her head must constantly give her a headache that makes her unable to open her mind up. My dad asked me why don't I take up tennis, which is a great idea except that I don't really have a partner and I don't want to waste money to hire a tennis instructor (the main reason is I would have to follow a schedule if I did). Which leads me to search for some kinda activity that can more or less be done with only one individual.
I would really like to do some kinda of extreme sports like surfing or windsurfing but I have no idea where I can do those 2 things. Kiteboarding is a good idea too, but I don't think such a sport exists in Malaysia. Erm, if anyone has any idea on how I can get involved in those stuffs please tell me, K?
Or maybe I could get my dad to buy me a bike again but this time I would like a BMX which would prove some other complication as my mom has this morbid fear or me breaking something, her plants, her vase... But most importantly, my bones. I don't see any problem in breaking a bone or two as long as it can fully recover but I'm really scared of losing my teeth though. Which also means skateboarding and roller-blading is pretty much out of the question too. But I would really like to take up skateboarding and I do plan on doing so before the end of this year.
Ah~ so my day dreaming comes to an end and I'm once again left with nothing but too much idea and energy yet no where to go and nothing to do. Erm, I'm still open for suggestions on useful ways to spend my time. If any smart ass decides to tell me to go study then he / she will have to answer to my fist of fury.
Eureka!!! I know the word "adjective" too!

The Day That Went Right

Just now I was in such a high spirit to blog and all, equipped with a perfect day and more photos of embarrassing college moments, I felt as if I was in hyper-drive, ready to churn out 2 fine posts..... UNTIL!! Until my dad had to swith off my PC and the process of starting it up again has totally sucked the life right out of me.
But nevertheless, today was a day much better than one I've had ever since my funeral so rejoice, people!
It started out a little shaky with me having to leave house at 7.45am on an empty stomach because MShern was afraid we might be caught in a jam (and luckily, he plans a lot further ahead than me). If things could get any bleaker than that, it was the knowledge that our first period is (wait for it) Mechs with Moley.
Moley is a name Mae came up with for our beloved Mr. "Sexy & Romantic" Yap which total suits him. I even have a picture of him here. As you can read from the TAO forum, 90% of the January intake Science class hates him with full- rational reasoning. But the main reason he's called Moley is because he has this hideously huge mole right above his lips. Oh, and his hair! If anyone has ever said my hair looks like a bird's nest or ever dare to judge my hair again, I'm going to punish you guys to a lifetime of starring at nothing but his hair and his hair alone! In this picture you can't really see that clearly so I promise you new and improved with better quality pictures will shed the light on the mystery that is his mole. *jeng jeng jeng jeng*
Anyway, while we were at the toll booth waiting for our turn to pay, these 2 most peculiar cars appeared. If you're imagining something like a cool pimped up car with wheels spinning on the side or a Porsche Cayenne, then let me tell you this buster, "You are so far off you can't even see the word "on" if you used the world's best telescope, dude."
On the contrary, one of the car is a Nissan Sentra while the other was a Proton Wira. Well, as you know, the number of queue cutters are directly proportional to the length of the queue, so the 2 above-mentioned cars emerged right beside our car in another lane. At first, the Wira got in by cutting right in front of a Kenari and I must say the Kenari driver is a really kind lady. Then, after the Sentra (PGS9809) couldn't get a place in the front of the line, he decided to cut in front of the Wira. Seeing this, the obstinate Wira fought him to the very end and wouldn't even give the Sentra a chance to fit in. It was an all-out battle between 2 brainless queue-cutters. At one point, the 2 of them got so close to forcing the other to crash into the curb that they actually had to REVERSE their cars out of the toll booth as both of them got stuck there. For your info, while all this was happening, the nice lady driving the Kenari was anxiously looking on from the back and even gave the Sentra enough space to fit in between her and the Wira. What can I say more than "male ego", they always have to come last but can't bare to not be the first.
Just a few minutes after that, either JJ or Rudy from Hitz.fm announced that Britney Spears have is planning on quitting her singing career. Upon reading this, I'm sure most of you must be punching your hands up in the air and saying to yourselves "So, there is a God out there who is kind enough to rid of this annoying bitch who can sing as mush as a frog can dance." It is the basic of Yin and Yang that good and bad can never be separated. So the news is, Britney is giving up her singing career, but she has decided to force us to dig our eyes right out of the sockets by switching into the acting business. If, even after Jesus died for our sins, we are still to be punished for our past crimes by having to feast our eyes on this abominable disaster, then I must say our sins must be big enough to fill up even the black hole. Oh, and have you guys heard? Brit's hubby Kevin was saying that if he can't hit it off as a dancer, then he's going to venture into the field of strip-dancing. In conclusion : Brit and Kev were definitely born for each other.
During Mech class, I noticed that Moley was wearing a dark grey (bordering to black) long sleeve shirt with black pants (the usual) and suddenly remembered this lame thing MShern was saying yesterday about "Gaya, Mutu, Keunggulan" and "Black is quality", and I just turned to them and said, "Hei look, he's wearing all black." and tried to imitate the Dunhill commercial. After that the stupid lameness ended as it is and I turned back to me seat. Then suddenly Farhan called me and said *while rubbing an imaginary mole above his lips* "Black is quality" and smirking and nodding at the same time. At that moment, the days of laughter that I've been missing all just came rushing out like water after a dam has been broken and I just, literally, LOL-ed right then and there. Of course I tried my best to contain myself but the sight of someone actual caressing their mole while saying those words has a very overpowering effect.
Later on, after Bon Apetit tricked me into dining there by saying they would serve nasi lemak (which they so totally didn't), we went to Gurney. By "we" i meant me, Farhan and MShern. We bought our tickets to watch "She's The Man" and had an hour to spare so went to the arcade (no surprise). There, me and Farhan once again got our picture shot for the drum game and we played House of The Dead 4. If any of you are remotely interested in a shooting game, you HAVE to try out HTD4, it's the 2nd best shooting game I've ever played. This is not saying I didn't suck at it lah~ because you know I know lah that I am totally, embarrassing and unbelievably horrible when it comes to shooting games but still, I enjoyed myself.
It is strange how sometimes I would go to Gurney and have the bajeezers bored out of me and I'll wander the extremely familiar corridors hoping to bump into a single familiar soul but always come out empty handed, yet today when I had no intention of even meeting anyone, I met so many. First of all I saw Dove and her gang of people (at least I thought it's them because I only saw them from a distance), then I bumped into A-Toh and her boyfriend wearing amusingly short school pants, then I met my long-time high school idol and her best friend who were also going to watch the same movie as us, then there was Pauline and her classmates and Siu Siu. So, there you have it, to have so many people ambush you at once when you least expected it, it is so typical of the human race to do such an abhoring thing.
The movie was the best part of the day. I remember the last time I ever laughed so hard was when I went to watch Mahjong Kungfu with Mashi and gang. I know Mahjong Kungfu sucks big time but the people I watched it with just made me feel so happy.
**Note : Slur, told you bout that little personality disorder right? See, I liked hanging with my old team mates and hated it when I had to change crowds. Seriously hated it with a vengeance.
Anyway, "She's The Man" is definitely something you should bring all your friends along to watch. It is simply hilarious with jokes about the stupidest things and most awkward situations. I love it the most when Viola acting as Sebastian will talk all girly with the guys and suddenly remember her "identity" and would become all weird. And the time when the ball hit the part where her own balls should have been and it took her like forever to realize how she should be reacting. Or the part where Duke got over-excited when Olivia talked to him and he did the "cool" flip-the-phone move with a swing of the head.
I obviously laughed a lot more than just those scenes but a lot of the jokes in there were lawak bodoh so I can't really remember it. But then again most of the funniest comedies are always brainless ones so this movie is still worth your money, definitely.
Oh and Farhan, I am really going to set up an anime library! Just looking at these stacks of round flat things just makes me so excited! And too bad you didn't get to do the final showdown with Alvin today. Plus when you think about Febraury, there are so many things to think about so keep your mind focused on anything other than "horny".
Airin! The content of the book you told me about is totally crazy man! If it weren't for my fear of offending religious issues, I would so totally write out what you said over here.
Pumba. Well, you're so good and perfect at everything else that I guess failing your driving test once won't hurt right? Look at it this way, this is probably the first time in your whole life where you've actually failed something! *gives Pumba a big round of applause* Which brings me to my next point. Attention people! Though I seem to have negative 70 reverse-parking skills and even worse maneuvering skills but at least I passed my driving test on the first go right? I am God, and God is great.
Slur, the only reason I'm writing your name here is because I want you to comment. I know it's lame and cheap but still, I don't have much of a choice. Hei~ make sure Shu Yeen comes to school this Friday, K? If not I'm going to make you take full responsibility. And another thing. Thanks for being such a good friend, and even more thanks for knowing my "deepest darkest secrets" *sinister laugh* and not telling people about it.

Our Funeral

People! Grab some life-jackets and jump of this boat cause it's sinking faster than we think!
What happened to us? Before this we used to do so many crazy things every single day and at the end of each week I would be able to just sit back, relax and look at all the stupid photographs from the week while putting my brain hard at work to come up with some sort of scandal or another.
But no look at us! LOOK AT YOURSELVES AND THOSE BESIDE YOU!!
We spend almost everyday playing ping pong while we keep convincing ourselves that we're actually getting somewhere with that. We stopped going around town to look for new places to eat and has instead reduced to the monotonous lifestyle of the cafeteria and eating at TNB. The worst part is, the highlight of our day is the moment when we go into the office to share dirty jokes with each other.
This isn't supposed to be happening. Our flame of youth shouldn't be running out so soon. What happened to us?
Have we all died? Is this the end? Don't do this to ourselves. So here's the deal, after the Humanities have their AS exam, we are going somewhere and we're going to party like we've never partied before. And for the June semster break, someone better plan a trip to somewhere before I go insane and start hacking you guys to death with a butcher's knife. I suggest paintball for celebration of the AS passing and Genting Highland for the June break!
But whatever, just spilt open your brains and squeeze out every single fun idea you can think off even if it means pulling it out with a crane!
My funeral took place a week before our 1st semester break, but last time I checked, all of you are still alive and well. Seriously, you don't want me to come knocking on your bedroom window at 3a.m. while wielding a cleaver now do you? Be afraid, be very afraid.

I've Got Dreams To Remember : Post For Shir Ling

February 13 is my birthday, and it is also the birthday of General Aung San (Aung San Suu Kyi's father) who negotiated Burma's independence from the United Kingdoms and was assassinated by his rival. This date can be written as 213, which, as some people might know, is my favourite 3-digit number.
There are a lot of reasons I adore these numbers so I'm here to write one of those reasons, and of course, this post is dedicated to that person who has influenced me countless times in every aspect of my life since the day we became friends.
As any sports person will do, I admired a lot of people who played basketball, most of them girls and all of them played the game with the poetry of a ballerina dancing to her a favourite tune and the skills of a master chef preparing his signature dish. To me, they were beautiful. It might seem strange to many that eventhough I cherish and love basketball as much as I do, I rarely ever watch the NBA playoffs and sometimes, I don't even know the name of some hot-shot players or popular teams.
Many people are of the opinion that when you admire someone truly and deeply, you have to know every last bit of info on that person... sometimes they even know how big their idol's house is or what's their favourite dish. For me, my admiration is solely based on the field where they excel in and my interest in them goes no further beyond those fences.
So, returning to where I left off. Among those people that I admired is Shir Ling. Back in high school, close to all of my friends knew who Shir Ling is (because of my constant rambling about all things concerning her). Now that my company of friends has changed, I guess I need to do a brief intro on her. Well, her name is Shir Ling, she's tall, she's smart, she's extremely and intimidatingly good at sports, she seems to have an interest in everything (because her recent activities in New Zealand includes volleyball, basketball, learning how to play guitar, tennis, breakdancing and a whole lot more I'm not aware of), she has a compulsive spending disorder and can wash away hundreds of ringgits every time she goes shopping, she loves blackmailing people and threatening them into buying gifts for her (just kidding) and she loves bringing me out to paint the town red. Well, I don't know if she enjoys doing so but we do seem to do that quite often every time she's around. Oh, no surprise here, her jersey number is 13.
Although there is a 3-year age gap between us, we are kinda close. She's one of the few persons I can tell all my deepest darkest secrets to without fear of being judged. The other thing is, despite treating me like a friend who could have been the same age as her, she still acknowledges the fact that she IS older than me and is often there to give me advice and encouraging words. I remember when I was in Form 4, she was the only one of my friends who continuously and unrelentingly reminded me on the importance of SPM and how, eventhough she fully understands our need to have fun and just let go of everything, we must never forget to study. She gave me words of encouragement to reignite my drive to read if I told her I failed another subject (again) or that I don't want to study for an exam. Unfortunately, her efforts were in vain because eventhough I really wanted to heed her advice and just start studying, the rest of my body never followed what my heart and mind told me to do. I'm surprised no one has ever awarded me the title "Rebel Without A Cause" till date because as I see it, not only do I rebel to any slight change in my surroundings that might incur my displeasure, I also rebel against any thought my mind produces that might actually do me some good.
As every philosopher will tell you, to every beginning there must be an end. First, she went to KL to study in college, then at the start of last year, she left for New Zealand to further her studies. It broke my heart to see her leave at that time, but the realisation that soon, her departure won't be as insignificant as just leaving Malaysia, the realisation that one day she will leave my life altogether shattered my heart. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
During her absence from Penang, my love for basketball grew deeper and I trained in every way possible... All with the thought that one day I'll beat her on court in mind. So you could say that the only reason I rarely missed a training or why I would stand every hardship or road-bump Yuan Yuan and Wei Jie (our temporary coaches) could lay before my path with such a willing heart was all fueled by the thought of Shir Ling. The fact that I "inherited" her jersey number only served to be a bigger intimidation to me, pushing me harder to do everything I could so I won't lose touch with basketball.
Message to Shir Ling : Basically, you could blame the reason I failed sooooo many tests on yourself because, just so you know, the only time I would stop training is during exam week. Even the week right before exam, I would still show up on court without fail all just so I could kick your *toot* when you get back. Oh, I still haven't given up yet.

Ending :
Si cha bo~! Don't forget our plan to go backpacking together, OK? I'll forgive you this time for going to LA without me but the next time, you better be buying 2 plane tickets. The next time you come back, you should also be ready to have you *toot*ing *toot* kicked by me because I'll be ready!
Thanks for giving me such a filling meal during my last birthday and also for treating me to the best dish of prawn I've ever had. I'm still waiting to go have some dim sum for breakfast, laksa for lunch and ais kacang for tea so come back as soon as possible, K?
I know sometimes it's hard for you to smile, but if you feel alone and in need of a friend, remember that I've always been here, and will always be here. Don't forget who you are, because I still admire that senior of mine with the "I-did-it-my-way "attitude.

Words To A Beautiful Song

If Slur is as smart as I think she is, I'm guessing she will be the only one who might be able to guess who or what I'm trying to say with these lyrics. Unfortunately, her knowledge on this post is pretty much useless to me.

xxxxxxxx
For You, I Will - Teddy Geiger

Wondering the streets, in a world underneath it all
Nothing seems to be, nothing tastes as sweet
As what I can't have
Like you and the way that you're twisting your hair
round your finger
Tonight I'm not afraid to tell you
What I feel about you.

I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
and cannon ball into the water
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
For you I will

Forgive me if I stutter
From all of the clutter in my head
Cuz I could fall asleep in those eyes
Like a water bed
Do I seem familiar, i've crossed you in hallways
a thousand times, no more camouflage
I want to be exposed, and not be afraid to fall.

I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
And cannon ball into the water
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
You always want what you can't have
But I've got to try
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will (x3)
For you

If I could dim the lights in the mall
And create a mood I would
Shout out your name so it echos in every room
I would

That's what I'd do, That's what I'd do to get through to you

I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
And cannon ball into the water
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
You always want what you can't have
But I've got to try
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will (x4)

Untitled

I haven't written any college life posts recently and I guess I should apologize to whomever have asked me to write something like that because let's face it, with so many departures of the people we like while the people we hate seem to be rooted deeply in our class, unwilling to budge even an inch, life seems pretty messed up now.
So, Nad left.. Then Mae, and now Iu Tjun. Guess all I can say is take care and come back to visit us often.
I'm in a pretty uninspired mood these days and I have a lot of things to blog about but every time I sit in front of teh computer the MSN Messenger goes on and I see the names of those people who have left us behind and totally get the "write" life sucked out of me.
Plus I had terrible results for my March Test so my parents have requested me to cut down on time wasting activities and since I want to attend some creative writing course in KL this month, I trying to stay on their good side. I have asked them whether they would let me go but I'm anticipating a "no" already... However, I will not die without a fight! I will not go silently into the night! Haha, keep your fingers crossed and hope for the best for me OK?
Anyway, I would also like to say I hate it when people don't just either accept or reject someone after that person makes a confession because it's kind of... annoying... in a way where you keep wishing and hoping and waiting for an answer you already know from the start.. Be it a "no" or a "yes".
Oh, another reason for not blogging so much these days is because I have a few novels to read and I don't really have much spare time so I guess I have to give up one thing for the other.

Friendstering : Why I Should Be A Psychiatrist

There are a lot of things you can do while Friendstering. You can browse through your 2nd degree friends and look for ugly pics and laugh your ass off at them.... and if you're a blogger you can save those pics up so you can use them later when you blog about ugly people. Believe me, it's a very fun thing to do.
Or you could find leng lui and leng zai in that list and add them to your friends list. Of course this is what those vain and poser people do. They go around looking for cute girls and boys who they haven't the slightest inkling about and add them till their whole Friendster account is full, then they create a second account and proudly declare on both accounts that "My 1st Friendster account is full ade. Add me at my new account : xxxxxx@hotmail. com."
I don't get these people. What's so "in" and "happening" about having a full Friendster account when in truth, you don't even know half of those on your list?
I've made a hypothesis that there are 2 types of "Obsessive Compulsive Vain Friendsterer" or OCVF for short. An example of that Type 1 will be her : Aniston. I have no idea who this person is but I found her after a series of skilled Friendstering and smart navigation through pages. She has billions and trillions (yes, that's an exaggeration) of accounts which fills up in the blink of an eye. Well, in her case (judging by her cool looking pics) I'm guessing people come to add her instead of she going around browsing through countless profiles and adding people. Type 1 can also be classified as "The Receivers" or "The Accepters". This type of people generate a lot of Type 2 people to come and add them based on their looks. However, the smart thing to do when some stranger comes to add you through Friendster is, of course, reject that request. But Type 1 personalities will accept those request and go on creating new accounts so they can accept more.
Basic traits of Type 1 OCVF patients are : multiple Friendster accounts, heavily edited pictures, self-portraits that shows only a section of their face, (if male) dresses in B-Boy style (whether they know any sort of dancing is unknown), (if female) dresses in kawaii style with mong huanzz pics and glitters all over their page.
Type 2 OCVF syndrome normally infects kids, mostly between the age of 11 - 18 years old. Type 2 can also be considered "The Requesters" or, more popularly known, "The Wannabes". Generally, Type 2 OCVF people are less appealing when it comes to looks, in other words they do not have what it takes for other shallow "wannabes" to come add them, forcing them to take the preemptive strike. These Type 2 victims will browse through all the Friendster profiles they could find and add anybody with a nice looking "Main Photo". Their own profiles would have gone under heavy HTML editing and will have falling stars, bling-blings and / or pictures of themselves as the background. Of course, due to their inborn facial features, these self-portraits would have already undergone heavy editing and Photoshop-ing until the pictures become barely recognizable. Most of them will also try to imitate the poses of Type 1 OCVF victims in their pictures.
Basic traits of Type 2 OCVF patients are : heavily edited Friendster profile, bad command of English, not so attractive features, loves to put the captions "Yo~!", "Check it out!" and / or "Stupid Me"** in their pictures, bling-bling visible in every area possible, extremely high amount of Type 1 victims in their friends list, will not go by their given Chinese name but will instead opt for a fake Christian name or Japo name, might wear a cross necklace although they aren't Christians, will be heavily accessoriesed in real life, Friendster name will most probably start with symbols : ", ', -, x.
Example of Type 2 OCVF victims are : Milky-D, aWei.
For your info, I have no idea who these people are, and if they happen to see this blog, feel free to bitch bout me amongst their friends or in their own blog. Oh wait, one of the traits of OCVF victims is bad English. I guess they'll have to stick to verbal bitching then. Enjoy.
Additional note : The above report was prepared fully by yours truly with no external help to prove that I am indeed qualified to be a shrink when I grow up. Also, I would appreciate people to stop forwarding messages with Friendster or forwarding chain-letters by mail, and stop the copy-paste style testimonials. Even if you want to copy-paste, don't do it for me, your un-hard work is totally not appreciated.

** Ironically, the caption "Stupid Me" is indeed very suitable for them. I guess they probably have at least an IQ of 12 to be able to know they are stupid.

The Quest For Comedy

It all started one fine evening when Farhan sent me this URL to a hilarious video by Dave Chapelle. The only way to describe that video is hilarious. Watch it for yourself and judge. My favourite part is where he shouts "STFU" into every mic. He curses the UN and ask them to sanction him and he goes "Oh wait~ you don't have an army!"
Dave Chapelle : Black Bush
After watching that, Farhan sent me a parody of Spider Man by MTV which got me started on searching for the ultimate comedy video available on YouTube. In the Spider Man parody, the part where he walks past the mirror and go, "Man I'm hot." got me in stitches, man!
Well, I guess you really can't say much about these comedies cause you have to see it to know it. Here are some videos I found :
Dave Chapelle : Aids Talk
The best part of this one is when he pretends he's holding the monkey. Haha!
When was the last time you had sex... and where?
There's no way to say it... just watch it.
Scary Movie 4 : Trailer
LOTR : Parody
I'm sure many of you have watched this before but you can't deny it, it's damn funny no matter how many times you see it.
Adam Ferrara
This guy is the bomb man! He the man! When it comes to making jokes he's damn good! Oh my god, eventhough the loading is damn slow, be patient! Trust me, it's worth the wait. Gosh he is hilarious.
Comic Soccer
This one is for you soccer fans out there, and all the non-fans too. Watch the part where the fake leg falls off. Or the part where the player gives the referee the red card!
Do You Take It?
Well, this one is not for everyone though. It's a little obscene and kind of rude if you think about it. But if you aren't very sensitive about sex issues then you might find this hilarious. People like Eugene will just roll over from laughter.
So, there you have it boys and girls. A list of videos that had me laugh my heart out. Enjoy.

A Picture Paints A 1000 Words

Want me to list out what's wrong with this pic? EVERY F-ing THING!! I'll start from left to right.
Me (in black) - Er... What am I doing there?
Samson (in pink) - Evil, grinning vampire with night-vision eyes.
Mae (in white) - Her peace sign has been rotated 180*, and for anyone that doesn't know what a flipped over peace sign means... It's F. Plus that expression on her face!
Pumba (colourful) - Smiling vampire that's probably thinking "Come come~ I look nice so let me suck your blood."
Pat (in red) - Her legs!!!
Leng Seng (in orange) - Who the hell does he think he is? Is my class filled with creepy guys or what?
MShern (in brown) - Sesat man. He's like sooo out of the group and damn sesat.
Farhan (standing behind Mae and Pumba) - Seriously the creepiest guy ever and we might even be able to sell this pic of as a ghost pic. I think he looks like a goblin.
Err...... Yeah, that's Farhan alright. Eugene said this is what some people do when they get too bored... But personally, I think he looks like he's peeing. Muahahahahahahaha! Farhan! What are you doing ha?
Yes ladies and gentleman, that's Iu Tjun a.k.a. Mr. Wei a.k.a. the new Muscle-man.
I hear some people say he does that move all the time... No wonder most girls in our class are single! Just look at the type of guys surrounding us! But the worse part of this pic isn't Iu Tjun checking his own zipper out, it's the fact that SAMSON is checking his zipper out that's wrong!
At first glance, you would think "So, what's wrong with this pic? 2 girls playing fuseball right?"
WRONG!! Think again! Farhan caught MShern red-handed checking Kay's boobs out! Oh, and to do it in such a public area! MShern, what are you thinking man! And to think people think you're the kuai kia and the serious one of the group. *tzuk tzuk*
Oh my god! I'm sorry everyone for not asking y'all to prepare a puking bag!! Pat, I know you feel nauseous easily but don't barf on your computer! Eugene, look away! Look away before you smash your monitor to pieces. Oh my god, my computer is hanging. Farhan, is your laptop going haywire yet?
Watch our everybody! It's the attack of the Flirting Masturbating Cow!
Speechless.... I lost my appetite for the whole day. And "No!" Pat, it's not because I think you're cuter than me. Argh~ How can anyone ever be so vain!! Jess, don't lose to her, K? You must uphold your position as the Narc Queen or your Ponx will left alone on the throne with this maniac narc.
Personally, I really like this pic. Doesn't this resemble an island in the middle of a deep clam sea with a swaying coconut tree in the middle? By the way, that's Pumba's hair. Thanks Eugene for this scenic picture.
Wait, first he checks out Kay's boobs, now MShern is gaying with SJH? I'm getting really realy confused here.
*Someone whispers updates into my ear*
Oh~ MShern is checking out Michelle Yeoh with SJH!! OK OK, now I get it! Whew~ That got me a little worried just now, what with (as we all now) SJH's gayness and stuff. But MShern, are you cheating on Kay? I mean she did say she saw you hugging someone on Thursday right?
If I'm not mistaken, the question "Can a guy get raped?" is a very popular one. Well, now you have the answer : If Eugene is around, "Yes, a guy can get raped. He might even be forced into some sadomachoism positions."
Hei guys, check out that layer of blubber hanging out from Eugene's shorts! Hahahahaha!
Erm, here's a warning to you all. Retard Alert for the next pic.
Yeah, that's me! I was trying to do a mong huanzz pose but failed miserably. *sob sob* But never you mind, I'm not giving up! Anyway, Mae described this picture as "The perfect model for the Form 5 Biology text book on the chapter about genetics under the section "Genetical Defects : Down Syndrome". *Hardy har-har* Very funny.
By the way, for anyone wondering why I would defame myself by posting a picture like this here, the answer is : I can't stand people who talk bad bout others but not to the victim's face, I can't stand people who would be the loudest when complaining about something but shy away when it's time to start a revolution and last but not least, I hate someone who would spot mountains when it comes to seeing other people's wrongs yet not able find molehills when they look at themselves. So here it is, I dare to bitch bout other people's pictures, and I dare to bitch about myself too. I don't give a damn. If you guys are wondering, the traits I've mentioned above are existent in most Malaysian Chinese, including me. The second one about the complaining thing is most prominent in the male species.

** "hardy har-har" stands for laughing out reluctantly.

Bollywood Movies : Quantity, Not Quality

I was with a couple of friends in college the other day and during our conversation, one thing led to the other and somehow, we started talking about Hindi movies. Now, when you mention "Hindi movies", you're sure the responds are gonna be hot, HOT, HOT!
To tell you the truth, I'm a devout fan of Bollywood movies and I sincerely, with all the pieces of my grotesquely broken heart, admire them. Just think about it, every one of the main characters in those movies is a potential Super "ass-kicking" Hero.
For starters, they can invade a small country anytime, anywhere. All they need is a visitor's visa for the main character, then he goes into the country, find some hot chic or soul mate and start singing. Yes, that's all he needs to do and *boom*, out comes a whole army of similarly dressed, singing, dancing and rolling man. One touch *snap* and all of them change attire, one swing *zap* and all of them, very mysterious and miraculously, get transported to some foreign land, no air fees necessary my dear. Free of charge-lah of course! What you think man, Bollywood you know? Mai siao siao.
To put it like Farhan said, "From India then suddenly in Paris, then Holland then back to India."
But that's not all! Like, "Hello~?". I haven't even started on their supreme powers yet.
If you talk about Bollywood movies there's no way you can leave out the part where suddenly everybody, male female young and old, EVERYBODY knows how to dance the exact 100% same dance steps and sing the same tune and how come all of them will sooooooo obediently line up behind the star. Isn't it strange? Because as I know it, I thought everybody wants their 15 minutes of fame, so why aren't those dancing jolly old men and women trying to overtake the stars when it comes to those scenes?
And why oh why are all the female dancers always dressed in saries (meant to spell the traditional Indian clothe for women) or clothing of the same pattern yet of different (and might I add, very very contrasting) colours.
Are we forgetting something very very important here? Ah~ YES! Eureka! We forgot the part where the female stars love rolling down hills, flirting with guys and coming super duper god damn close to making a move on the guy yet will suddenly spin away and start running around some pillar like a dog chasing its tail. Plus what's fun about running around pillars? Better yet, why are there so many pillars in India?! Oh, wait. Some times they run around tress too. Come to think of it, these people have freaking good stamina man. I mean, they are singing in an ultra-high pitch voices, rolling down hills, doing uber cool dance moves, warping themselves from one end of the world to the other AND running around cylinder objects! If their acting careers ever come to an end, fear not my friends. I'm sure the Olympic coach for marathons or long distant running events will want to hire them with arms wide open.
Next up : kissing.
Call it Asian modesty, or conservatives, or whatever mid-80's mentality these people can't get out of but the stars never ever kiss...on the lips. Yeah, they'll kiss anywhere and everywhere EXCEPT where it is meant to be kissed!!!
Excuse me, but when you're in a relationship, do you kiss your partner on the lips first or just run about some majestic looking building and start necking them? What's all that about! I seriously don't get it. So, kissing on lips is a big NO-NO, but kissing other plaecs that might sexually arouse someone is... OK?
Plus these people wear the most revealing clothes yet they still complain about Westerners baring too much! I beg your pardon please but, aren't these Bollywood people all in it for sari tops that go all the way up to north pole and sari skirts that barely even touch Australia? You might as well be running around in a bikini.
As we know it, ALL Bollywood movies must involve some conflict and fight scenes of any kind. And these scenes, my patient readers, are the places that would put any Hollywood sound-effect controller or what not to shame.
Example 1: Let's say Man A tells Man B some grave news or new founding to some criminal investigation taht accuses Man B's kin / close friend / partner as the bad guy. Suddenly the camera will spin and zoom in so close to Man B's face that you can count the facial hair on his face and a loud *dush dush dush* will come out just as the camera reaches his face. "Better" movies will have that same scene repeat 3 times. It's like 1st time, camera turns from Man A to Man B with magnification x10, first *dush* appears. 2nd time, camera turns (again) from Man A to Man B with magnification x40, second *dush* is heard. 3rd time, camera (and yet again) turns from Man A to Man B with magnification x100, third *dush* is heard and camera stays there as it soaks in Man B's face suddenly turning very very grave.
Example 2 : Man 1 and Man 2 in a brawl. Man 1 is good guy, Man 2 is bad guy. Man 2 beats the crap put of Man 1. Man 2 gives Man 1 a flying kick. As the kick lands on Man 1's chest, a loud "ARG!!!" is heard, camera rotates to a different angle, Man 1 flies away and knocks into some barrel or table or boxes that just so happen to cushion his fall, resulting in a lot of *bing bang boom* being made. Man 1 coughs out blood and stands up with a small trail of blood dripping from the lower left corner of his lips. In most cases Man 1's shirt will be torn and Man 2 would have taken his shirt off from the start to show some muscle.
The other thing I've noticed about anyone in Man 1 situation is they suffer from an Ultraman-complex, which I pressume to be some sort of psychological problem as a result of stupid script-writers. Have anyone of you ever watched Ultraman as a kid and wondered, "If Ultraman can makes some kick-ass move (the 2 arms making a cross and laser beam being fired move) after his own ass gets kicked to Mars which instanly kills the enemy, why didn't he do it before his red plastic thingy on his rubber suit starts blinking?" Let's face it doing a move when you're still in full health will definitely be stronger than when you're half-dead right? Plus Ultraman could have saved Tokyo city some massive building destruction as a result of him falling flat on them if he had finished off the bad guy from the start!
In Bollywood movies, why do Man 1s have to wait till they are in a near death and seemingly lost situation then only start kicking ass. It like, first they will be beaten to pulp and cough up enough blood to drown New Delhi and they'll be crawling on the floor, then suddenly *kazaam!* and he stands up, starts to kick ass and wins. But of course after displaying his "Hero Power" and winning the fight, he has to start coughing again, hold his abdomen and either fall to the ground or the female star will come running to him and support his weak body. Cliche, aint it?
That being said, I'm still an ardent fan of Bollywood super beauty Aishwarya Rai (below) and will continue supporting Bollywood movie until one day when I grow to old and could no longer laugh till my belly aches. Who wants "Quality" that takes a few years to produce when you can get an infinite amout of "Quantity" in mere weeks. Beauty over substance, dudes and dudettes.
Aishwarya Rai! *Muakz*

Gila Sendiri Culture Among Friends

For those who don't understand Malay yet still insist on reading this blog (referring to Pathu Kesongsukhun or however you spell your name), here is an explanation of the word "gila sendiri". To put it simply, "gila sendiri" = you (Pat) because "gila sendiri" = narcissism and narcissist = you. I should seriously consider teaching as a main job *looks into a far off space with dreamy eyes*.
Well, I've always had narc friends who are so damn into themselves that if a car exploded 10 feet away from a mirror, they would have noticed the mirror first; the perfect embodiment of this new "trend" being, of course, Dayrion. Dayrion, shown above in his "Model Pose", is a 18-year-old boy from Humanities with OK looking features and an undying love for football. He sometimes claims himself to be Thiery Henry (though we know how WRONG he is) and is always looking into anything that can cast a reflection of him. Get this, he even uses his own (wait for it) SHADOW to check himself out.
Yes ladies and gentlemen, leading our A-Levels course in the Gila Sendiri Department is none other than Dayrion, the guy who always has a tube of gel or a bottle of wax in his bag.
Following close is Merv and Mae, both tying at 2nd place.
This is Merv when he was still dawning the his "mushroom" hairstyle.
Merv is a guy who would stop in the middle of the road under the scorching hot sun just to look into a mirror and do a James Bond pose. Merv is also well known for fancying himself to be either Maxim or Jay Chou and wearing tons of rings, wristcuffs and chains. His other signature move is his habit of taking his limited edition Nike sneakers off every time we scale the walls of TNB.
Merv also enjoys taking pictures of himself and is ever ready and willing to let a paparazzi snap a picture of him, given that he isn't in a compromising position or unpresentable clothes.
Presenting to all of you the president of ANO and TAO, and the main character of my previous blogs -- Mae.
This is how she looks now, after dying her hair black and cutting it short to make herself presentable to the JPA scholarship interviewers. Before this she had a minimum of 3 colours in her hair... I say it's a good idea she re-naturalized her hair colour because the interviewers would definitely have kicked her out of the room before she even utters a word had they seen her in that outrageous hairstyle.
She is the Best Mong Huanzz Poser amongst the Lunch Gang and probably has a computer full of her own pics. Her other hobby is editing her own pics to enhance her looks. You know how mong huanzz pics are normally close ups right? Well, it's damn scary when she does those close up pics without her specs on because her eyes are HUGE!
I'm sooooooo sorry Jess, I just couldn't resist! I'm sorry I couldn't get a better pic of you and A-Pon too cause I don't really have contact with you and I can't wait any longer.
This entry is a pretty visual entry so I can't write about you without a picture either so... Yeah, sorry.
Well, here you have it, this is Jess and A-Pon. You can find Jess's blog's link in my sidebar.
I don't really know them but I'm a frequent reader of Jess's blog so I guess I owe her this much. I mean, she did call herself the Mong Huanzz Narc Queen, so it's only fair she is featured as a gila sendiri trend-setter.
Actually... Actually Jess ah~, between you and Toh, who do you think is a bigger narc? Because she is also damn crazy and into herself eh, go anywhere pun sure must snap a few dozen pics of herself.
....Is it just me or is the whole Yo-11 group crazy bout themselves?! Oh my god... What have this world come to...
But anyways, I've been trying to learn hard from you, Jess. Taking pictures of myself non-stop and totally polluting my friends'' handphones by storing loads of my pics there. I'm now trying to force them to put my pic as their wallpaper.
Muahahahaha, Farhan! You will not escape me!
Since I aint a hypocrite, I'll admit my own gila sendiri hobby and end this entry with an absolutely beautiful and out of this world amazing pic of yours truly.
Man am I cute or what!? No, Slur. You MAY NOT choose "what" and fill in the blank!


Next blog : Gila Sendiri Culture Among Strangers.

April 10 - Part 2

Where was I? Ah, yes. We got into the arcade and played our money away. This time we didn't get to beat the high score for Photo Hunt or the drum game (I seriously have to find out the name of that game) anymore.
After that we divided the group up into 2 cars, one went straight to NED while the one with me on it went to Jenny's to get the cakes for the night. The journey to the cake house was definitely something that could have made you snort water out of your nose had you seen what we had to through just to get there. It involved a lot of "unclear" directions given by a certain girl named Pat and also by yours truly, although I must say the confusion caused by my directions can totally be blamed on the listeners.
First of all, we got to this cross road (where you could turn both, right and left) when Pat just screamed "STOP!! Turn! Turn!". So stop, MShern did.... With no idea of which side to turn and cars piling up behind him as the congested the whole road. Then followed a flurry or "WEI~! WHAT YOU DOING?" and "TURN TURN!" and "MOVE FIRST!". Of course in the end we missed the turning but luckily we got to our destination anyway. Kids, learn the lesson. Next time, when you're sitting in the back seat you don't tell the driver to turn right by screaming "TURN!" while using your finger to point right because :
1) He doesn't have eyes behind his head and
2) He DOESN'T have eyes behind his head.
Next stop, NED (finally). We got there and MShern performed the worse ever side parking I've ever seen him do. My god he was so far from one side of the curb that he was actually close to the curb on the OTHER SIDE of the road! But all that was readjusted with (I'm just going out on a limb and guessing here) a little bit of "moral" support from Kay (*winks* If you get what I mean).
Everything that happened at NED was pretty mundane, you know... Just the usual like how Day has 2 inch, how MShern is lame (and him proving that statement true with more lame jokes, but you gotta applaud his originality though), bout Mae and Nathan's relationship, bout Samson and his "happy" attitude and of course, we couldn't possibly end the day without Slur embarrassing herself. So, we were playing fuseball and all of a sudden Slur had this urge to embarrass herself so she just stepped right up and challenged Nathan. You could see that Mae wasn't happy bout Slur getting into her turf but that's not the point here, Mae was only like... the birthday girl of the birthday dinner OK? She aint the star~!
Slur was happily playing fuseball with Nat and Kay was helping her man two sticks when Kay got into a situation where the ball stopped dead straight in front of her man. As Kay was readying herself for a golden kick Slur just totally barged in and said, "Come come~ I Show you!" and *poof* goes Kay, out of the way, and Slur just turned those little men on the stick as hard as possible. By the expression on Slur's face you would have thought she scored from half-line. Unfortunately, a series of sound effects followed her action including *doof* *dup* *duk*, each of them representing the ball flying out from the table, the ball hitting a wall and the ball falling on the ground respectively. There you have it. Slur just can't refrain herself from embarrassing acts.
Later on at around 10pm, we went to the beach by the Golden Sand Resort (at 10pm, I have no idea why they had to choose a beach so far up because you won't be able to see anything anyway) after Mae wasted half an hour of our lives being indecisive on where to go next. We got there, fooled around a bit, I proved my "muscle-ness" by giving Pumba a piggy-back ride and took one hell of an ugly pic there. The day ended with Mae giving most people a hug (she gave me one hell of a reluctant one) and Farhan giving Mae the most formal of all stiff handshakes ever.

Greatest "aww~" factor of the day : Nathan taking his jacket off for Mae when she said she was cold after the cinema.
Greatest disappointment of the day : Not being able to catch Day and Mel making out on camera.

April 10 - Part 1

8.24am
Rudely dragged out of dream world by ringing phone, answers phone in a totally unconscious and blur voice and miraculously my brain allows me to mumble something resembling, "Uh huh, ngia ngia (Translation : Ya ya) Gimme errr..... uh..... pifteen (Translation : 15) mins."
8.40am
Manages to change, brush up and sprint downstairs in time to not let MShern and "Babe-magnet" Han wait in for me in their car. I wanted to spare Farhan some brain-cells.
Explanation on Farhan's new name : He won the Freshie King title so I'm taking that as something that resembles the Prom King title, and Prom Kings are always babe-magnets... Well, at least in movies they are.
8.50am
Reach some mamak place, no idea what the name is... I mean I know where it is but these places have so many different names until I can't differentiate one from the other.
Ate very unsatisfactory food (which I got tricked into eating because I was attracted to the potato part of it) and drank teh ais with enough sugar in it to last me 3days. Went home.
*Most parts from here on will no longer be chronologically labeled.

Went home, read the papers. Made some phone calls to make sure everyone knows the venue for the night is No Eye Deer (NED) and gave out last minute invitations asking people to go to Gurney Plaza to watch some movie. Had a "date" with the postman but nothing happened. Air-con guy came, finally got rid of my old and cranky air-con that screamed "Bloody Mary" every time I turned it on. But as the great ironic fate would have it, the new air-con that was installed into my room started coughing and wheezing after like... 4 hours of use. It's OK though cause I've already filed a complaint with the Panasonic people (Note: I aint bitching Panasonic, faulty models come by once in a while OK?).
Went to the date with my hair guy, dragged Farhan and MShern along to save me some time, went to Penang straight afterwards. Me being me, we left Butterworth at 2.30pm although the initial plan was to leave at 2pm. As a result and the fact that we got caught in a massive jam on the bridge just made us a lot more late, we picked Pat up somewhere near 4pm although I told her we would be there around 3pm. Talk about punctuality, eh? But of course all this lateness can also be blamed on Mae as she took like... eternity plus one hours to get ready when we were already at her doorsteps waiting.
Arrived at Gurney around 4.30pm, got the tickets to watch Ice Age 2. Day and Mel (plus a light bulb named Merv) went to watch another movie. Entered the movie hall at 4.45pm. So, very expectedly MShern sat with Kay... With me as the light bulb (*Sheepishly* Blame it on the person who bought the tickets for not buying them a couple seat.) Anyway, at first Mae was sitting beside Leng Seng but I could only imagine what kinda begging she went through to get Seng to change seat with her so she would get to bask in Nathan's love for like... One and a half hours? But alas, she is the birthday girl so she got what she wanted.
The movie went well except for the part where I got freaking cold and started shivering and you know how when you shiver your whole body shakes and you can't really speak or do something with a steady hand and stuff like that? Well, so halfway through the movie I could no longer hold my Cola cup up to drink and had to bend down to the cup-holder every time I wanted a sip and when there was like a quarter of the movie left, I could no longer laugh. Yes, the brutality that is the cinema. As we all know Ice Age is a very funny movie that would basically encourage its audience to laugh so Kay (who sat beside me) did just that, and while she sat there in her sleeve-less shirt mindlessly laughing her head off to the silly antics, I was there shaking in the cold trying to laugh but all that came out was loud exhaling of breath and me cursing Kay for enjoying herself there.
6.30pm
Came out of the cinema, called Samson and arranged for Mr. Wei to pick him up at the foyer. Told Mr. Wei we would leave as soon as possible and went straight to the arcade to indulge in some racing, drum games and photo hunting. Again, Malaysian timing, aren't you just so damn proud of it my dear?

*To be continued in Part 2*

April 1

We celebrated Lexus's birthday on that day although, to tell you the truth, I don't quite know when her real birth date is...
Well, we went to Paradise Hotel where Lexus booked a room for us. It all started quite mundanely. Oh, and by mundane I meant by our Lunch Gang standard. Before I move on lemme explain where "Lunch Gang" originated from. This word actually came up when I asked Mae who she would like invited to her birthday dinner and she said "Oh, the usual. Just the Lunch Gang." Upon asking further, it turned out that Lunch Gang meant all of us who normally have our lunch together, meaning most of the January intake for KDU A-Levels in Penang.
We got into the room, took off our shoes and basically started jumping about the room with extra focus given towards totally dirtifying the bed that Lexus and her friend will be sleeping on later that night. I don't know what happened but we got into a pillow fight that later morphed into a (wait for it) real life amateur seduction show filled with girl-on-girl action.
EEEWWWWW~!!! What are you thinking bout there?! I meant girl trying to squash another girl by sleeping on top of her!!
The first part of the circus show didn't see anything big or real going on, just us basically trying to squash one another (lucky Eugene aint a girl or you'll see many flat girls in KDU now). Then 6 trays of steaming hot and beautifully stacked boxes of aromatic Domino's Pizza came knocking at our door just as we were getting bored. Yeah, SIX pizzas! At first we were very reluctant to open the door because we saw Gayrion on the other side but well, what can we say, food over anything else. So "pop" goes the door, "woosh" comes the pizza and "oink oink" goes the people inside. I don't know how many pieces other people ate but I ate 2. OK, I lied, I ate 3... FINE FINE I'll tell the truth.. I ate 5! There, you happy now!? I'm a pig! So? You happy?!
It's not my fault! Those pizzas were starring back at me with those cute little pepperoni eyes and were just BEGGING me to eat them. If we were smarter we could have heard them scream, "EAT ME EAT ME!!" Don't judge me... *sobs*.
After the lovely and absolutely delicious pizza rejuvenated and re-energized our tired bodies and minds, someone suggested we get down and dirty and get laid (you freaking pervert, I meant go downstairs and get dirty with the sand sticking all over our clothes and lay on the beach!! EEWW~) So we sent our not-so-hot scouts and soldiers a.k.a. the un-dudelicious guys of the Lunch Gang down to do some surveying (check out hot bods nearby) while the sugar and spice and everything nice changed into bathing suits upstairs. But as soon as they left, the sugars turned into red hot chillipepper and the spices turned into absolutely PHAT chics and every religious person in the world would have gone down to their knees and prayed had they seen what kinda zoo was let lose in that room that day.
Suddenly the Pat that has once tried so hard (in total vain, none the less) to convince us that she was angelic and innocent turned into a holly mother sex-kitten and pounced on every single girl in that room, proving to us that girls with long body hair do have higher SEX DRIVE than average-haired girls. With her flirtacious stares and seductive movements, she totally had everybody tuned into the "Crazy.fm" and people just went wild. Err, people went wild... and cows had asthma attack.
Connie, feeling intimidated that someone was actually more flirty than her, just hopped onto the bed and (with a hand resting on her chest and the other supporting her leaning body on the bed {try thinking of the Cleopatra pose}) started moaning. Oh well, at least she let out some sorta sound pollution and tried to convince us that she was moaning but I think Mae summed that noise up the best by asking, "Are you having an asthma attack?".
Unfazed by the cold reception, Connie the masturbating cow went on and tried her hand at the cheapest of "Professional Service Girl" tricks by pouncing on a girl, holding that girls hand in a skillful grasp, and desperately asking "Do you want to buy? I'm selling, free of charge." Well, all I can say is... "Girl, spare us the view please." It was totally abhorring that even a guy who just got set off by a million hot supermodel girls would go wood in a matter or nano-seconds at the sight of the free of charge masturbating cow.
Again, being one who wouldn't give up her Flirtacious Queen title even if someone pointed a gun to her head, Connie plunged head-first into yet another cheap trick, this time it was more of a sleight of hand... She asked one of us to come-a-knocking on the door innocently and she would suddenly (mortifying piano sound please) open the door upon the unsuspecting girl, pull her into the room and shriek "Come on!!". Yes, there's your sleight of hand. See? She used her hand to pull you in and totally rape your eyes and your ears.
So that was basically the highlight of the day. Yes, you guessed right. The day was awesome and totally eww-some. Just by looking at the main attraction of the day the Desperate Free Of Charge Magician Masturbating Professional Service Cow you can guess how much worse the rest of the activities that day would have been.
Oh, and we spied Gayrion and Mel walking down the beach hand-in-hand. Too bad we didn't get a pic of it.

Other blogs relating to this day :
By Mae --> The Anti Organisation
By Pat --> In The Depth of The Ocean

The Tide That Left

....will it come back?

Now that everyone knows Mae is leaving, every time they talk about her departure around me, someone will somehow find some way to turn around to me and ask, "Are you sad?". Then someone will continue the conversation by saying, "It's alright." I don't get it, I've only known her for 3 months, why would everybody just assume that I would miss her or be devastated that she's leaving? Doesn't anyone realize Pumba knew Mae since like a million years ago and is extremely close to her?
Well, maybe it is true that I'll miss her a little bit, but I would rather classify that feeling as unfamiliarity. Unfamiliarity caused by an empty desk that should have been filled by a multi-coloured hair girl. Soon I'll get used to that empty desk, and this would all have been a dream. It is not sadness that I feel, because feelings of sadness have a way of creeping up on a person, and if that person admitted defeat, the feeling would spread to others. So it is not sadness I feel, the phantom of darkness shall never overcome me, and my heart will not be held captive by its chains of emotions.
In my other blog, I wrote an entry about how moments in life will pass us by like towns on a highway. I guess the same goes for people too. In this journey towards death, many towns have come and gone, the mega-cities lasted longer than others, the villages came and went in the blink of an eye. Others, like family members, are like cars traveling on the same highway alongside me. We never know where our destination is, or when we'll reach a crossroad and one of us would choose a different route. But right now, we're still traveling blindly into the night, with only our headlights to show us the way.
The town that was Mae lasted a total of 3months to pass. The highway took me to the outer-rim of her city, and left me hanging there, baiting me with the mysteries of her mind and willing me to know her better, yet bringing my journey away from her with the lapse of time. And the breadcrumbs that I dropped in hope that I will one day be able to trace my way back have all been devoured by the hands of time, and the pebbles I left behind have all been washed away by the waves beating upon the shores of our lives. Wind blows, and leaves turn to mark some kind of ending.
It is unfair and unjust that I only got to know her for 3months. I wanted to know her longer. Whatever will be will be, so I guess this is goodbye.
Don't expect me to stay away too long though, because I swear upon myself and you that one day this road will lead me back to your city, and that time, the journey will last longer than 3months

Kill Buddha as you see him;
Kill the father as you see him;
Never be attached to anyone,
Live life as you will.

*Currently singing to myself :
Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong Move along, move along like I know you do And even when your hope is gone Move along, move along just to make it through

The Departure

Too often in life, we take too many things for granted. We think the car engine will always start up every single morning to bring us to work, until one day it stops working. We think lunch will be ready and waiting for us on the dining table every time we finish school, until one day your mom has an urgent appointment to attend to that morning. We think that our friends will never leave us, until one day when they really do.
I used to have a blog in Friendster, and it was going pretty good until one day a friend told me she was leaving college. I don't know what happened. I have always hated her guts, and her annoying habits, and the way she totally exploits me, but I went into a kind of depression upon hearing that news and couldn't bring myself to write there anymore. I guess that often happens when you lose something you've always taken for granted.
I don't understand what happened to me. I've only known her for 3months, and at the start of those 3months, I took one long, hard look at her and said, "Stuck up." A few weeks later she, along with Slur and the rest of the Lunch Gang, became one of the few jokers in class who could brighten up my day.
She was the crazy one who always said the craziest jokes and did the craziest moves. She was the noisy one who always did "Super Jam Combos" at our lecturers just to give us a few laughs and to give the lecturers a few wrinkles. She became the president of Anti Niyi organization and The Anti organization. She was the cute one who always played the "Cute Girl" card whenever she was in trouble. She was the one who kept me up till 3a.m. just so she wouldn't have to do her stuffs on the other end of the computer alone while I suffered brain damage from excessive deprivation of sleep. She was the one who talked to me and made me realize there is someone out there who shared the same views with me. But most of all, she was the only one who giggled every time there was a love scene on screen in the cinema.
And now she's going to leave, and even in her departure she managed to make me rip half of the hair on my head off while trying to organize a farewell / birthday party for her. Here's a tribute to Mae, the only friend who ever made me hate a person so intensely in a mere 3 months. Good luck where ever you will go.