Tuesday, April 11

April 1


We celebrated Lexus's birthday on that day although, to tell you the truth, I don't quite know when her real birth date is...
Well, we went to Paradise Hotel where Lexus booked a room for us. It all started quite mundanely. Oh, and by mundane I meant by our Lunch Gang standard. Before I move on lemme explain where "Lunch Gang" originated from. This word actually came up when I asked Mae who she would like invited to her birthday dinner and she said "Oh, the usual. Just the Lunch Gang." Upon asking further, it turned out that Lunch Gang meant all of us who normally have our lunch together, meaning most of the January intake for KDU A-Levels in Penang.
We got into the room, took off our shoes and basically started jumping about the room with extra focus given towards totally dirtifying the bed that Lexus and her friend will be sleeping on later that night. I don't know what happened but we got into a pillow fight that later morphed into a (wait for it) real life amateur seduction show filled with girl-on-girl action.
EEEWWWWW~!!! What are you thinking bout there?! I meant girl trying to squash another girl by sleeping on top of her!!
The first part of the circus show didn't see anything big or real going on, just us basically trying to squash one another (lucky Eugene aint a girl or you'll see many flat girls in KDU now). Then 6 trays of steaming hot and beautifully stacked boxes of aromatic Domino's Pizza came knocking at our door just as we were getting bored. Yeah, SIX pizzas! At first we were very reluctant to open the door because we saw Gayrion on the other side but well, what can we say, food over anything else. So "pop" goes the door, "woosh" comes the pizza and "oink oink" goes the people inside. I don't know how many pieces other people ate but I ate 2. OK, I lied, I ate 3... FINE FINE I'll tell the truth.. I ate 5! There, you happy now!? I'm a pig! So? You happy?!
It's not my fault! Those pizzas were starring back at me with those cute little pepperoni eyes and were just BEGGING me to eat them. If we were smarter we could have heard them scream, "EAT ME EAT ME!!" Don't judge me... *sobs*.
After the lovely and absolutely delicious pizza rejuvenated and re-energized our tired bodies and minds, someone suggested we get down and dirty and get laid (you freaking pervert, I meant go downstairs and get dirty with the sand sticking all over our clothes and lay on the beach!! EEWW~) So we sent our not-so-hot scouts and soldiers a.k.a. the un-dudelicious guys of the Lunch Gang down to do some surveying (check out hot bods nearby) while the sugar and spice and everything nice changed into bathing suits upstairs. But as soon as they left, the sugars turned into red hot chillipepper and the spices turned into absolutely PHAT chics and every religious person in the world would have gone down to their knees and prayed had they seen what kinda zoo was let lose in that room that day.
Suddenly the Pat that has once tried so hard (in total vain, none the less) to convince us that she was angelic and innocent turned into a holly mother sex-kitten and pounced on every single girl in that room, proving to us that girls with long body hair do have higher SEX DRIVE than average-haired girls. With her flirtacious stares and seductive movements, she totally had everybody tuned into the "Crazy.fm" and people just went wild. Err, people went wild... and cows had asthma attack.
Connie, feeling intimidated that someone was actually more flirty than her, just hopped onto the bed and (with a hand resting on her chest and the other supporting her leaning body on the bed {try thinking of the Cleopatra pose}) started moaning. Oh well, at least she let out some sorta sound pollution and tried to convince us that she was moaning but I think Mae summed that noise up the best by asking, "Are you having an asthma attack?".
Unfazed by the cold reception, Connie the masturbating cow went on and tried her hand at the cheapest of "Professional Service Girl" tricks by pouncing on a girl, holding that girls hand in a skillful grasp, and desperately asking "Do you want to buy? I'm selling, free of charge." Well, all I can say is... "Girl, spare us the view please." It was totally abhorring that even a guy who just got set off by a million hot supermodel girls would go wood in a matter or nano-seconds at the sight of the free of charge masturbating cow.
Again, being one who wouldn't give up her Flirtacious Queen title even if someone pointed a gun to her head, Connie plunged head-first into yet another cheap trick, this time it was more of a sleight of hand... She asked one of us to come-a-knocking on the door innocently and she would suddenly (mortifying piano sound please) open the door upon the unsuspecting girl, pull her into the room and shriek "Come on!!". Yes, there's your sleight of hand. See? She used her hand to pull you in and totally rape your eyes and your ears.
So that was basically the highlight of the day. Yes, you guessed right. The day was awesome and totally eww-some. Just by looking at the main attraction of the day the Desperate Free Of Charge Magician Masturbating Professional Service Cow you can guess how much worse the rest of the activities that day would have been.
Oh, and we spied Gayrion and Mel walking down the beach hand-in-hand. Too bad we didn't get a pic of it.

Other blogs relating to this day :
By Mae --> The Anti Organisation
By Pat --> In The Depth of The Ocean

2 comments:

Pat Kesonsukhon said...

Corrections...
Angelic & innocent <-- yep, it's Pat...how can u not see she's truly an angel?

Holly mother sex-kitten <--have you not enough brain cells to figure it out that she's skillful enough to imitate a sexeh babe...something you cannot do.

And hey! I'm PHAThu...I have PHAT in my name...pretty much means I'm one too.

I was putting the room on fire when the cow kicked dirt all over the room with her hooves. Shoving people into the state of shock having to witness things they wished they never saw in their whole lifetime...

and...
5 Slices of Pizza!
No wonder pigs call you Great Grandma when it comes to eating...I know you had more then 5...the number just gets higher and you can't stand the humiliation of yourself pigging out in the public.

toodles...it's not the end of me yet...

Niyi said...

argh~ u again!! wei 5 slice nia ok? in ur blog u wrote most ppl ate like 5-6 slices!
and what i cant be a sexeh mama?! i AM the motha of all sexiness!