Wednesday, August 30

What Is And What Could Have Been.

When you're 16, you rarely think that anything could go wrong in life.
I had these dreams for every one of my close friends. I made plans on what would happen to us as we grew older. Our self-organized reunion in the year 2008. How we would meet again one day and all just laugh about how much we've changed and yet we're still the same people we were when we first met each other. Who would get into a serious relationship first. Who would get a high-flying career. Who would be the first person to spot me wearing a skirt. We made fun of each other. How all of them would laugh their head off if they ever saw me in a skirt and holding the arms of my boyfriend or something. Life didn't seem so complicated at that time.
I made plans, and I didn't think anything could go wrong.
2 years later, not that much time have passed but already I see my dream crumbling before me. I didn't think any of us would be forced to quit basketball because of health reasons, neither did I imagine she would start to shun us. I didn't think any of us wouldn't be able to continue her studies and start working. Most of all, I didn't think any of us would screw their life up so badly that she would get married.
What is and what could have been.
After graduation, we grew apart. Well, some of us did. They went to college and lost all contact with us. One made new friends and no longer wants to keep in touch with people of the past. One left to find a job because of her uncertainty on what to study. Some found lovers and decided to become jack-asses. One got pregnant and got married. The juniors no longer have the dicipline to keep on fighting. The seniors are either wasting their life away still being immature and not taking control of their lives or are too busy trying to make something out of their lives.
Just one year from graduation and already, the prospects of a reunion seem so unlikely.
Why did I write this post?
I guess it saddens me to see that not everybody made the right path for their future, and a lot more is going to fall into the depths of despair. What happened to having a backbone? What happened to having your own life philosophies and not compromising it for anything?
We all said we won't mess up and look at us now. You smoke, you drink... What else are you willing to do just to fit in with people who don't even deserve to be your friends? And the seniors who can't seem to mature even though you're older than us, aren't you supposed to take care of us and guide us? Why are you pulling these kids into all the mess that you got into? How could you possibly have the heart to mess up their lives? You made the wrong choice, it doesn't mean they have to make it too.
Stop breaking my heart and grow up mentally for a moment here.

1 comment:

Jess said...

so true..
similar incidents happened to me.. not get married and stuff.. but people just drift away.. everyone changes..