Ayam Bakar

It's proven that cooking ability is definitely not genetic. Reason: My mom doesn't know the difference between edible vegies and non-edible ones (hence her mom (my late grandma) have prohibited her from eating any kind of leaf or fruits that she might pick up by the roadside or in the garden since she was a kid) whereas I heard Queen Lizzie is considering giving me a Knighthood for my sublimely magnificent cooking skills. Seriously! Boy, can I cook or what!
Yesterday, me and my mom made roasted chicken which was perfectly marinaded with the best sauce and herbs ever for the family. By "family" I meant me, my mom and my dad. Considering that my parents "Meat Eating Capabilities" are roughly equal to Mei Ling's, my mom said she sure wish my eldest brother was there to help finish up the food.
Here's some quick-info for you guys:
1) Mei Ling eats very very VERY little meat. Actually she eats "very little" of everything except that horrible tasting sandwhich (no idea why she finds it so nice) hence her petite body size.
2) My brother eats about the same amount of food that can be used to feed a starving nation for a day in a single meal.
Anyway, when my mom said that, I couldn't help but think to myself "HELL-O~! This is just a chicken, OK? A single chicken half the size of those obese babies out there! Even if you guys can't do your job I sure ain't gona fail in this."
I have this strange habit where I really hate losing in stupid stuffs. I don't mind if I don't top-score my exams or anything but... Yeah, you know. I was born to do stupid things that no normal human being could comprehend.
So, the roasted chicken tasted superb (like every other thingI cook). Seriously, if your guys have to pay RM6 for that piece of badly cooked meat at Le Cafe, you guys better be ready to fork up a fortune for a piece of this kick-ass chicken.
It was mouth-watering, it was thought provoking. In short, it was deliciously yummy. And as previously speculated, my parents' combined effort saw them finishing a little more than what Mei Ling could eat on her own so it was up to me to settle the rest. As I sat there on the table having an eye-duel with the chicken, I laughed at it and thought, "Come on baby, I can eat you like an elephant eats an ant!". Please don't ask me since when did elephants started eating ants, I just thought of it cause you know, it sounded cool at that time... (=_=")
Ten minutes later, I was still at that table with roughly 40% of the chicken left and my tummy 250% full. It's strange you know. I used to be able to eat 4 freaking plates on one go without even batting an eyelid and now, I can't even finish a whole chicken.
Remember the "Stupidity Pride" issue I was telling you guys just now? Well, at that moment, the spirit of Eugene and my big bro came in and it took me around another 45 minutes to finish that whole chicken. Of course, the pride of winning a battle is uncomprable and at the same time, the price is unbearable.
I swear on my right pinky that I shall not touch chicken for the next week and shall never attempt to finish a whole chicken by myself again. So, what was the result of me eating all that?
I could barely move for an hour right after that, I couldn't really do anything for the rest of the night, my metabolism was probably kicked to high-gear as I was sweating like that chicken must have been sweating when it was roasting in the oven and I had a very very serious stomach problem this morning. How serious? I had to come home from school cause I can't take it anymore eventhough I had this desperate urge to keep staying in school so I can go to basketball later AND disturb PF during Pure Maths class. Yes! It was so bad I gave up basketball and disturbing PF!!
It's not the kind of go-to-toilet-and-settle it problem... It was more like I have to eat breakfast because of this stupid gastric problem but I seriously don't want to touch any food or anything related to it. By jolly, I couldn't even finish a freaking small bowl of soup!
Haha, but at least I kicked that pitiful chicken's ass back where it belonged! Victory is mine!!

PS: If any of you think I'm stupid and a little cookoo... Well then, sod it cause I don't give a *toot*ing damn!